How do you get over the hurt, sadness you feel?

[StressedOutDaily]

Yesterday was a crappy day for me... .

I get up very early every morning to give my DD(15) her meds. 
    We used to have extremely bad mornings, so at the suggestion of her Doctor I
    started to give her her meds and hour before she needs to get up.  That really
    has made a big difference to how our day starts. 
Lately though she is giving me a very hard time in the am,  refusing to sit up, swearing at me, etc... .  Lovely start to my morning, and yesterday it was just brutal.

She had an appointment yesterday morning with the Doctor - where she was just rude to her, and really lashed out at me - calling me a liar, swearing at me, etc... .

I just felt so hurt, sad,  angry... .when we got home I just stayed away from her until her ride picked her up about an hour later.

Then she was pretty much out of the house for the rest of the day... .she volunteered at school, stayed at school to watch her BF in a wrestling match, we picked her up from school after that. - She was in a great mood.  Then brought her to her friends house and they went to a dance.  She was a happy kid.

But I just couldn't shake off the sadness and hurt yesterday.  Most days I can, but not yesterday ... .those feelings just stayed all day.    How do you do it? 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Daisy123]

Hi Stressedoutdaily,
When our loved ones lash out- their words and actions are so hurtful. My h just got a lashing for giving a compliment. DD20 hates any type of compliment that has to do with body image. She’s split him with most of their communication taking some form of a conflict.

You are in a tough situation- having to wake your DD up early and administer meds. This looks like possible power struggles and conflict. Is there any way she can set her alarm and take her meds without you administering them? Say the night before, she place her morning dose on her bedside table and she set her alarm?

Lastly, I’ve no trick up my sleeve for the hurt caused by our lives ones except to be present. I acknowledge my hurt, my pain when I feel it. I try not to explain or reason with it- just feel it. Sometimes it’s like a dark cloud that hangs over me, other times it comes and goes. I try my best not to burry it. I wish I had better advise for you. Hang in there.

Daisy123

[StressedOutDaily]

Thanks Daisy for responding... .

Unfortunately - she won't take them unless I give them to her.  Definitely a power struggle issue.   We also need to make sure she takes them and have to watch her carefully.   This fall when cleaning her room I found about 40 pills that she "cheeked" and hid. 

Most days I really don't mind getting up early, because I know that the morning will go smoother.  I also take that time after when it's quiet and everyone is still sleeping for "me" time - I meditate, journal, have a quiet cup of coffee... .

Today I feel better, it also helps just to get it out there ... .just typing it and hitting send helped alot (maybe I should have done that yesterday   

[Mirsa]

I totally understand, such a tough way to start your day.  I used to drive my BPD daughter into school every morning and it totally just sucked.  Since I haven't had to do that the past few months, my day starts on such a better note.  It's so impressive to hear that you are trying to balance out her negative energy with the positive energy of meditation, etc.   

I felt sad today too.  Even though I don't want to spend time with her, I'm sad about who she is as a person.  And that I won't have a real friend to have a rewarding relationship in a few years.  There's a grief there that is real.