Help with communication

[lostinlies]

  Hi!
I have a longer thread where I have been telling about my and my SO:s situation. In some sort of way things has stalled in some sort of passive-aggresivnes. I couldn’t say that she hates me or anything. It’s more like she don’t care about my existence.

Right now she blames me for that she is getting help from the psycatric clinic with her selfharm, alcohol problems and depression. After her breakdown when her lies caught up with her and her affair it’s all my fault that she is in this situation - and she sees herself as perfectly healthy.

When I talk with her I always get the response ”I don’t know/do as you wish” or ”I don’t care”. It doesn’t matter what subject it is - it is the same answer regarding the childrens well or what to eat, what to do on a day of or what to watch on TV. Is it possible in some way to reach beyond this? I’m trying to use the tools for communication and that have removed the anger and irritation but has been replaced with this instead

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RELATIONSHIP PROBLEM SOLVING This is a high level discussion board for solving ongoing, day-to-day relationship conflicts. Members are welcomed to express frustration but must seek constructive solutions to problems. This is not a place for relationship "stay" or "leave" discussions. Please read the specific guidelines for this group.

[Harri]

Is it possible in some way to reach beyond this? I’m trying to use the tools for communication and that have removed the anger and irritation but has been replaced with this instead

Hi again!  I think it is going to take time as the two of you settle into the new way you are communicating.  It hasn't been that long and there are a lot of things going on and it sounds like she has withdrawn into herself right now.  I would not push, no matter how gently.  Just talk as normal, mention what you would like to do, ask if she wants to participate and then go about your day.   

Part of the challenge will be you dealing with your own feelings about this, the changes that are happening and your expectations.

Thoughts?