How to help BPD son with drug addiction into treatment

[FaithHopeLove]

My DS24XBPD has been high on God knows what (probably weed and xanex) all week. This increases his suicidal thoughts. I understand traditional interventions are not advisable for pwBPD. So my question is what if anything we can do get him into treatment. I am at my wits end with him. Things were better for a while but now not.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Harri]

Hi Faith.   

What sort of things have you tried in the past to get him into therapy?

[Lollypop]

Hi Faith

Goodness, I know that feeling and I’m so very sorry to hear it. We want so much for them to find a different path for themselves. For what it’s worth, I spent nearly 10 years fighting my son’s drug use. It was useless and wasted energy for us all, he never really wanted to address his drug dependency. He would sometimes say he did, but he was unable to sustain any length of keeping clean. There was and, still is, always a excuse.

For them to change their behaviours they have to be ready and committed. BPD and drug dependency is complicated. My son resisted taking responsibility for his life.

I have been forced to settle for radical acceptance. My son is relatively stable (like you, there’s problems) but I don’t raise the drug issue. It’s his life, he hasn’t reached a point in his life where he is ready. I accept he may never give up self medicating. I was speaking to a friend the other day about their addiction and their words were “I had to get tired and bored of the life I was leading before I stoppped.”

That’s my story. It is not yours. Gently forwards Faith. Be gentle with yourself. You know you cannot change your son, only how you react to him. I say this with deep respect as I know exactly how you feel - it’s so so painful to watch. You can of course try - there’s always hope - and actually change can begin with a simple outreach of a hand “you’re not alone, I’m here”.

Does your son say he wants to stop?

Hugs

LP

[zachira]

My heart goes out to you struggling with a son with drug addiction whom you have not been able to get into treatment. For many years, the most successful treatment for drug addiction uses techniques and interventions from motivational interviewing which are based on how the addicted person feels about changing including no motivation to do anything. Anybody can learn some of the basic techniques which can be helpful in letting the person with addiction take responsibility for their decisions and gradually move towards taking charge of their life.