I am so Angry

[StressedOutDaily]

Two months ago my D16 signed up for a college thing for today - its a few hours and they have stations set up with activities to learn about different programs and talk with people in different parts of law enforcement (she wants to go into the FBI) etc...    this morning I wake her up...she isn't going because she doesn't feel good.    5 minutes ago she tells me she is leaving to go "chill" with her friend. 

I am so angry right now. She is such a bright intelligent girl and this stupid illness is robbing her of her life. "Chill" most likely means smoking pot .    2 months ago she was telling me what a waste it was that this particular girl (my D's new bestie) was blowing her chance at a full athletic scholarship because she quit the team because doing drugs was more important to her... 

Thanks for listening to me rant! 

Now that I have written this out,  I am really scared rather than angry.  I have to keep reminding my self it's an illness - and if she could she would not choose to live this way.     

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

You must be panicked and fearful - as I would be as well.  The thing that helps me is to remember there is more than one way to do a thing.  For example, your daughter blowing off  the college thing today; this would have been advantageous to your daughter, no doubt. However, there could possibly be another college thing on another date.  She has some time , even if it means waiting another year until it comes around again.  In the meantime she can contact the FBI website, ask the outreach if they can allow for an informational interview with your daughter.   Keep your eyes on the prize here- she is on summer vacation now(?) . She hasn't talked of dropping out of school or not being interested in college altogether ?  I would grab those nuggets of thought and hold onto them.  Meanwhile, take it easy on you.

[StressedOutDaily]

Thanks Swimmy!  You're right, she has plenty of time.   It's more - who and what - she is choosing to do with her time at the moment that is scaring me.