How can help?

[Anjali]

I need some advice dealing with a grown child.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello Anjali and welcome to the group. You have come to the right place for help and support. Can you tell us more about your adult child? What about their behavior concerns you?
 

[Only Human]

Hi Anjali!

I join Faith in welcoming you here and echo what she says, you've come to the right place for information and advice  

What's going on? What can we help you with?

~ OH

[Anjali]

My 35  year old son has been fighting a serious depression for over a year. At one point his therapist said that she thought he might be BPD and perhaps DBT would better suit him. So far therapy, various drug regimes, and DBT so far have not helped ease his pain at all.
The question: he calls me when he lonely, scared, sad or upset. (we live in the same city but not near by). He doesn't want me to hang up. I don't know how long should I let him say the same things over and over? How long should I stay on the phone with him?
His girlfriend broke up with him and he is obsessing constantly, asking the same questions: "how do I get her back" "can I write to her" "why won't she come back". All I say is I dont know. What should I be doing?

[FaithHopeLove]

Those are all really good questions. On the one hand you want to help your son but on the other hand my goodness. How many hours can you spend on the phone with him saying the same thing over and over? Maybe it is time for some limit setting. What would you feel comfortable with? Maybe limit him to a certain number of calls per day? A time limit on each one? Maybe some others here have more ideas about how you can make this situation bearable. In the meantime please take good care of yourself. You are dealing with a lot.