Secret drinking

[Grandbpsupport]

Our GD ,who lives abroad, is adamant that she is not drinking at all and indeed has told all her friends that she is on meds and doesn’t even want to be offered a drink .
Thing is her mother who lives with her says she can smell the drink off her breath and we can hear the telltale signs when she gets on the phone
She goes into absolute meltdown if anyone suggests she is drinking ( since she is soo adamant she is not )
When she stayed with us here a few weeks ago it was exactly the same in reverse ...we could see it ,hear it and smell it so clearly but she was on to her mother saying we were being crazy
Is this “secret drinking” a feature ? And how do you get someone to accept they have a problem when they will not even admit to ANY drinking not to mention problem drinking

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Self medicating seems to be common among people with BPD. So is having a different version of reality than others may have so your GD's behavior is not surprising to me. Like any addict, you can't help them until they are ready to be helped. I hope that time comes soon for her.