Limited Case Management

[NeedsHelp]

I was just in court yesterday for divorce. We agreed on Limited Case Management. Does anyone know how soon that usually starts and what to expect. I have been primary caretaker for S4 and stayed home with him. I had to move out of the home to get away from an abusive situation, but did not file a PFA for fear of it making things worse. Now I am concerned my living situation will have an effect on the outcome. I am not sure what to expect.

[kells76]

Hi NeedsHelp, it's good to hear from you again.

"Limited Case Management" is a new phrase for me (so perhaps for other members as well). One site I searched described it as:

a process has been developed called Limited Case Management (LCM).  This process has overshadowed pure mediation to some degree.  Attorneys prefer LCM at times because if the parties should come to an impasse in mediation, the Limited Case Manager is ordered by the Court to proceed with an investigation and recommend to the Court what ought to happen with the children.

Another site said this:

Limited Case Management - Process where the parties meet with a trained third party who, upon interviewing the parties, looking at evidence, and interviewing witnesses, makes recommendations to the Court on who the children should live with and the other parties’ parenting time based on statutory factors.

So it sounds like "mediation when we're pretty sure there is high conflict preventing the parents from working it out themselves". I don't know an exact timeline, but I suppose whenever mediation would happen in a "typical" divorce is when LCM would happen for you. Is there a court clerk you could chat with?

Now I am concerned my living situation will have an effect on the outcome.

Did you end up moving in with the friend whose address your H didn't know? Someone/somewhere else?

I've heard some stories where living situation isn't as big a factor as people worry that it'll be. I think one mom here had an ex living in his semi truck, and he still got overnights with their D.

Share whatever you feel comfortable with. Hope S4 is having some positive things in his life -- any stories you want to post? Birthdays, pets, friends, costumes?

 

kells76

[NeedsHelp]

Is there a court clerk you could chat with?

Did you end up moving in with the friend whose address your H didn't know? Someone/somewhere else?

I ended up moving back with my parents until we get the finances settled and I find a job and we agree on childcare.

I am not sure how to go about contacting a court clerk, but you think one might be helpful in explaining the process?

S4 has picture day at school tomorrow, so that should be cute. 

[kells76]

From what I've heard, court clerks work at county courthouses -- maybe near an area where forms are picked up and turned in. If there's some sort of "wall of paperwork" in a domestic law area of your county courthouse, ask whoever's there at a "turn in desk" if they're a clerk or could point you to one.

I seem to remember hearing that CC's can't give you legal advice, but can often describe a typical process and tell you how to fill out forms. If your question is about when LCM will happen, I'd start by asking a CC.

...

Re: living situation...

Remind me if you have a lawyer? A L might be a good resource for the question "would living with my parents be held against me somehow in determining where our son lives".

Is there anything about your parents &/or their home that you are concerned would be seen negatively?

I will say this... I had a, um, recent entry on my criminal record back when DH and I got together and got married. When DH needed to get an actual PP and the kids' mom wasn't working together with him, DH got a L. I asked the L "what worst case scenario info do you need from us so that you aren't surprised by it" and volunteered my misdemeanor. He just laughed. It never came up.

To be fair, that wasn't about living situation, but not everything that we worry will be an issue ends up being an issue.

...

Awww, is it preschool or kindergarten pictures? (Of course, only answer if you feel comfortable!) Does he have an outfit all picked out?

[worriedStepmom]

I wouldn't worry about your living with your parents.

You and S have a home.
You have other loving adults to help watch him.

My sister and her son live with my mom.  My sister could move out, but she likes having the support and my nephew loves living with his nana.

My H's ex lives with her parents.  We never even considered raising that as an issue.  (Although it is concerning to us that ex and SD share a room because ex keeps SD from sleeping when ex is having a meltdown.)