How to handle when communications are cut off

[Engine One]

Over the years, my daughter will go through phases where she ignores any call or text from me for quite awhile . Then something will change or happen, and she picks up where she left off, sometimes months later. I am so tired of this endless merry-go-round. I have never told her how much this hurts, or how worried I am that she is relapsing into her eating disorder again. Should I tell her how I feel, or just continue to pray, and to love her as much as she’ll let me?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[FaithHopeLove]

Hello Engine One
 Welcome to the group. This is a great place to get the information and support you need. We are glad you are here. To answer your question or better yet help you find your own answer, people with BPD often cut off communication with loved ones. Their feelings get too intense for them and they need that space. Given this is the case what would be the advantages and disadvantages of telling her how you feel? If you do tell her what would you say?

[Engine One]

Good questions! I guess I'm hoping it'll stimulate some thoughts in her head about how her behavior can hurt others (me). Which it probably wouldn't. And, maybe she'll reach out to me. Which she probably won't. No matter how often we go through this cycle, I will never stop hoping that I'll get my pre-BPD daughter back. Sigh, I need to get out of her lane, and stay in mine!

[FaithHopeLove]

You are doing a great job of answering your own questions. How can your daughter really respond to your pain when she is in so much pain of her own? I agree. Best to stay in your own lane starting with your own self care. What are you doing in that area?