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Author Topic: Snatching me up off the ground - now I have alumbar compression fracture  (Read 1136 times)
GaGrl
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Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner’s ex
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« Reply #30 on: February 03, 2020, 12:31:08 PM »

Prior to the point your conversation with your ex escalated to his teaching out and grabbing you -- had he been drinking alcohol or taking drugs of any kind? If so, as much as he would like to call it an "accident," it wasn't. He was impaired, he grabbed you, and he fell on you. Done and done.
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"...what's past is prologue; what to come,
In yours and my discharge."
empath
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« Reply #31 on: February 03, 2020, 12:57:05 PM »

Excerpt
Even had the nerve to say that he wasn't going to hold this against me and he was going to let it go.  Been playing that statement over in my head.

He wasn't going to hold it against me that I called the cops on him because it was an "accident".   Those words have been bothering me a lot.

One of my counselors mentioned the idea that there's a abusers handbook that they use because their statements are so, so similar. "Reversing victim and offender" is a classic tactic (aka blame shifting). He seriously injured you, and he is the victim because you got medical care and told them what happened. He even said that he has a hard time letting things go -- believe him on that, this will come back on you.

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Cat Familiar
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« Reply #32 on: February 03, 2020, 02:23:02 PM »

Frankee, I understand that you’ve wanted to hope that your ex could get better and fully participate in parenting your boys in a healthy way.

My concern is that through his demonstrated behaviors of violence, seeming lack of remorse, and inability to have empathy for you, that he might not be a good role model for your sons. You certainly wouldn’t want them behaving the way their father has when they’re adults in relationships.

Perhaps it’s time for your ex to experience the consequences of his behavior. It seems that he hasn’t had an awakening in the past.

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“The Four Agreements  1. Be impeccable with your word.  2. Don’t take anything personally.  3. Don’t make assumptions.  4. Always do your best. ”     ― Miguel Ruiz, The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom
Frankee
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« Reply #33 on: February 03, 2020, 02:36:06 PM »

You hit it spot on I Am Redeemed.. almost as if you were running around in my exbpd's head.

That's what I told my doctor. I know everytime he hurts me, he feels the guilt weighing down, does everything in his power to show me he is sorry, the honeymoon phase.  When I start to get better and healthy.. it's like a reset on the cycle.  He still hasn't let it go two years ago when I left, and had the cops called on him.

This injury happened in the morning without any substances involved.  Happened even when I did everything I could think of to calm the situation.  Nothing worked.  Case closed.

My doctor said my symptoms I've been having aren't just from the injury, but that I may be experiencing depression.  Which is understandable.  It's weird.. Everytime before I was able to catch it and realize what was going on.  I really thought it was from the injury.

Even now, I feel tired, achy, like I just want to lay down.  I can't though, I have to much to do.  I need to put more distance between us.  I need to stop worrying about the outcome of his actions and start refocusing on my own safety and the boys.
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“Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over.” — Guy Finley.
I Am Redeemed
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« Reply #34 on: February 10, 2020, 09:24:40 PM »

Staff only
This thread has reached the posting limit and has been locked. The discussion continues here:

https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=342846.msg13099106#msg13099106
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