my 23 old daughter has BPD

[Parents! Get help here!]

I have a daughter who is 23 yrs old with BPD. Since she was 13 yrs old she has been struggling with emotional and mood swings. She had medicines for 1 yr without any proper diagnosis. Then she refused to take medication. The problem has been all along but only recently she went to a counsellor and is diagnosed for BPD. She is been advised to take medication which she is completely refusing to take. I have tried my level best to convince her but of no use. Now I dont know what to do and feel helpless. I need someone to tell me how I can help my daughter.

[holyangels]

I have a daughter who is 23 yrs old with BPD. Since she was 13 yrs old she has been struggling with emotional and mood swings. She had medicines for 1 yr without any proper diagnosis. Then she refused to take medication. The problem has been all along but only recently she went to a counsellor and is diagnosed for BPD. She is been advised to take medication which she is completely refusing to take. I have tried my level best to convince her but of no use. Now I dont know what to do and feel helpless. I need someone to tell me how I can help my daughter.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[livednlearned]

It's not uncommon for people to go on and off medications when there is a mental health dx, unfortunately. Has she said why she doesn't want to be on her meds?

Did she gain weight or experience any other side effects?

Refusing meds can also be a way to deny the diagnosis, which is also not uncommon. She may feel judged and stigmatized by the dx, so she denies it applies to her, and then denies medications that might help regulate some of the mood swings.

Did you see an improvement when she was on medication for that one year?

[holyangels]

she did gain weight for that one year. She says that there is no need for medication to regulate her mind as people will think that she is some crazy person. She never liked her psychiatrist during that tenure of one year. There were mood swings but it was not too extremes as she is experiencing now.
She likes the counsellor whom she is visiting now, but once she suggested that she has to start taking medication, she  stopped going to her.

[FaithHopeLove]

The good thing is even if she resists meds she's still willing to go to a counselor. Many people with BPD are not.

[livednlearned]

No one needs to know she takes medications, although I understand it can feel stigmatizing to pick up meds even from a pharmacy.

When she says she doesn't want people to think she's a crazy person, how do you respond?

[holyangels]

She hardly allows us to talk. We try to tell her that she is a very good person it is only her emotions that is causing her problems. So it will be good for her to listen to what the professionals suggest. 
Her inter personal relationship is not good. She went to stay with two of her school friends house and she got into trouble with them. So her stay was cut short. She also tried to go and stay in a non profit organization. She was asked to leave as she was not able to do what is expected of her. She now feels that no one wants her and blames it completely on us. Now she is trying to leave and will disclose to us only at the last moment when she wants money. We are now reducing the money that we provide her so that she will not be able to travel. She argues that only our monetary support will provide her happiness. Instead of us telling her to take medication and undergo therapy.
Trying our level best to stay firm this time. Each day the struggle is increasing. She is also struggling between the feeling of abandonment and low self esteem.