My beautiful daughter of 41.

[Frautdad]

Very difficult high functioning daughter who I love so much.

Entire family splitting!

I'm terribly lost and fraught. Am completely open ... eg can I post names here = we're real people?

PS: I read about this site in "Stop walking on Eggshells" - page 201.

 

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Harri]

Hi and welcome to the board!

I am glad you are reaching out for help and found us.  You are in the right place for support from other parents/people who have a loved one with BPD.  You are not alone.  The other good news is that things can get better over time.  We have had families turn things around.  We have also had people who have improved their own situations even when their loved one refuses help.

One of the first steps it to take care of you and to learn tools that will help you cope better with what you are dealing with.   The tools and strategies we use here can help our pwBPD (person with BPD) but they help us as well. 

The eggshells book is good.  There are other books that may be more appropriate for your situation.  We can better guide you as you share more details.  The more details we have the better we can understand and guide you.  BTW, we do *not* use real names here as we are very cautious about privacy.

I hope you hang out with us and read and share more.   

Again,

[livednlearned]

Splitting is so common in our families.

The best way to refer to people here online is by relationship and age. For me, my BPD loved one is a stepdaughter who is 23. I refer to her as SD23, and to my husband as H. Does that balance of openness/privacy work for you?

What are some of the things happening in your family? It's hard to shock anyone here 

Hope you'll let us know how you're doing and how you're getting by

[Frautdad]

Dear wife of Mr. H, Thank for your prompt reply of 26 April. I hadn't read your privacy suggestion prior to sending my next note. Anyway, thanks too for your note dated 27 April deleting reference to real names.

My Beautiful wife (BW) of 33 years and mother of my Beautiful Daughter (BD) died of ovarian cancer on 8 September 2007! This left BD's older brother (OD) and her Younger Brother (YB) and me to try to understand/cope with BD, since her mother had largely borne that onerous role up to then. On 21 March 2010 YB married LH a fantastic Colombian girl and they have given me exceptional gandsons now aged 5 and 3. Two years ago LH couldn't bear BD's behaviour any more and together with her husband (and under threat of divorce) have banned BD from their home and any contact. On 6 June 2009 I remarried ... to Ali71 (a bridge partner of BW who at that time was Ali61) and am truly blessed AGAIN! Now Ali71 is the focus of BD's abuse and the strain I bear is awful. OB keeps to himself through all the drama which too is terribly unpleasant. So there you have it.