How can we help our son?

[Lostmother]

Our 27 yo son, rx bipolar w/psychotic episodes was living with us for the last year after a series of hospital stays.  After the last 2 months, triggered by a job loss, it has become clear that this is more likely BPD.  He got into a series of rage episodes and we told him he would need to find another living arrangement.  He has been living out of his car for 3 weeks and we have not heard from him, not that we expected to.  For those who have more experience with this, is there anything we can do to support him and to set the stage for a relationship in the future.  We love him very much and don't want to make it worse by thinking we can help him.  Open for suggestions.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Modesty68]

Hi Lostmother,

seems like a really hard situation! There are a lot of stuff to read and learn. I started with Valerie Porr's book: Overcoming BPD
I really recommend it. She is very clear about that the borderliners are suffering a lot, but she also gives a lot of good advice that is useful on how to act when you have a borderliner in the family.

Take care!

[Lostmother]

Thanks Modesty68.  I am reading everything I can get my hands on and that book is in the pile.  It is just so hard to not try to help, knowing that my help is not wanted and that it will only make him madder.  I want him to know he is loved but he has told me in the past that when he has withdrawn texts from me only irritate him, even if it is just a quick "I love you."  Making myself do nothing breaks my heart.

[Modesty68]

Hi!
If "I love you"-messages annoys him, is there any other common ground for the two of you? Is there anything else you can share; like jokes, news, animal videos, music tips, recipes?

[Lostmother]

Thanks, those are good suggestions.