How to talk to my adult daughter about the possibility that she has BPD.

[Mary3mc]

Hi all. I'm new to this group. I'm looking for support on how to talk to my adult daughter about the possibility that she has BPD. She has not been officially diagnosed but from things I have read recently, I am sure she would be if she could get to the right place for help. She has been through counseling several times in her life but they never seem to get through the facade and address the real issues. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Thanks]

Hi Mary3mc,
That is such a hard position to be in, and I'm in it too. My adult daughter is BPD and I think her current therapist is on the right track, but I can't be sure. Except that my daughter is starting to use the same terms (like "skill building" or "learning skills") that are common in the BPD therapy world. Hopefully you've read the enormously helpful Stop Walking on Eggshells. I think the book advises mentioning the possibility of a BPD diagnosis but dropping it if the person responds negatively. I guess if you know who her therapist is you could call and suggest the BPD possibility even though that person wouldn't be able to tell you if they agree or anything else about the therapy due to confidentiality.
Meanwhile just know there are so many of us dealing with the same issue and we're here for you. just learning more about BPD has helped me so much and there is so much great advice for families here.
Good luck!