My adult daughter has BPD

[Parents! Get help here!]

My adult daughter has BPD and is very volatile. I find myself dealing with anxiety and depression because I never know what she will do next. I am constantly terrified. I can’t be alone in feeling this way, what have others done to stay centered and calm. I feel like I’m losing my mental health to this.

[KRs Mom]

My adult daughter has BPD and is very volatile. I find myself dealing with anxiety and depression because I never know what she will do next. I am constantly terrified. I can’t be alone in feeling this way, what have others done to stay centered and calm. I feel like I’m losing my mental health to this.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[srivili]

I have started therapy for myself and reading a lot of books on the topic. Its very easy to read the book, but so hard to implement during a rage attack. We need detached attachment and stop being afraid of the rage attacks.  I didn't cause it, I cannot cure it and I cannot control it. I am working on my emotions. I dread the phone calls and what will be a trigger of the moment. I realized I am an easy target as she knows being the mother I will not leave her. I also feel trapped that I have this notion (wrong of 'good mothers' are always there support their children. Once I started to understand I have options, my attitude has started to shift. She is an adult with a family and a good job and a wonderful husband. Her suicidal threats are the most to deal for me as an emotion. Last few times, I didn't rush to be there for her as a choice and she found ways to call the therapist and other friends to calm herself down. She is still raging at me how I didn't show up and decide to call the therapist to check on her. Told her next time it will be a wellness check. Mind you she is Dr. herself.
In essence, we need to work on our emotions internally. Its a lot of hard work and I am just taking baby steps. Good luck!