Hi this is my first post about the issues in our family. I don't know where to start. My daughter has BPD. She was diagnosed 2 years ago. She goes to Therapy with a DBT therapist once a week and just started a DBT group last week. In addition I "see" a parent coach every 2 weeks to help me dealing with all of this.
My family is still falling apart. I don't know where to turn anymore. I don't know what to do. I am at a breaking point. Last January I spent 8 days in the hospital because of the stress of my life. I don't want to end up there again.
Some background...My daughter is currently 25, has always had emotional issues from a very young age. She was in and out of therapy, took medication but nothing ever lasted. It wasn't until 2 years ago when she had a very bad breakup with a boyfriend of 4 years. Something in her broke. She was spiraling downhill. My son took a physiology class in school and learned about BPD. He felt that it described her to a tee. She took it upon herself to seek treatment. She met with 2 Phycologists and 2 therapists before she found the right fit. She works really hard at her treatment but things keep getting "worse", more intense. We were told that it would take a long time for her to be "better" but never did I think that things could get worse within the family.
My husband and I have been supportive to her, more me that my husband. He is Italian and finds it very hard to understand mental disabilities. He has always been more of the "get over it", "grow up" kind of father. He loves his daughter but the are very much alike and butt heads all the time. She blames him for almost all of her issues. He is loud and yells. He has never physically abused his kids. He yells, I guess a kind of "mental abuse" or at least that is how she sees it. He has gone to therapy with her but ends up coming out like feeling he is being told that he is the root of all her problems, which he is not. He has apologized several time to her for anything he may have done but she does not let it go. She keeps bringing up the past which he gets angry about. It is causing a riff in them and in us. I don't know what to do anymore.
I am a fixer and always have been. I want to fix my family. I want us to be happy. I don't ever see that happening as long as she is living with us. But she cannot afford it on her own. We cannot afford to pay for her.
I could go on and on but I am sure most of you know about what I am talking about.
What I need is advice. What does everyone do when you are doing what the professionals tell you to do but it still doesn't get any better. Is there any light at the end of the tunnel or is this the way our life will always be from now on.
