struggling with adult son

[PVD]

Fits every characteristic of BPD.  Blames me for everything.  I'm struggling with being supportive vs protecting myself from his verbal abuse.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Swimmy55]

Welcome!  If you are more comfortable, can you share a little more- what is your son's age?

[Woody59]

Welcome Newbie;
It's a terrible situation to be in as a parent. Part of the disorder is blaming someone else for one's own problems. I'm learning slowly to toughen my shell. It is very painful and reaching the point with my 32 yo daughter that we may have a break in our relationship for a while. She is causing daily aggravation and while I feel very badly for her situation, I am becoming exhausted by the daily vicissitudes.
If you feel like you did the best you could as a parent, that's all you can do. Most of us have some sort of childhood resentment towards our parents but come to realize that they did the best they could. These children may not get there, but that is their issue. It is an assault on one's ego but I'm finding it eases somewhat with time but I don't know if the pain ever totally resolves. Best wishes.

[losttrust]

What has helped - I preferred the audible of  “stop walking on eggshells” and various links on this website -very helpful.  As are others who have shared.