Hello - I'm New Here

[DeeSquiggles]

Hello, just a note to introduce myself and what has brought me here. I've been posting on TAM for a few months now, but DH has now started talking about his BPD and is back in therapy... I don't see a future in our marriage. I've said no to marriage counseling this time as I think it's a waste of $. I've been seeing a therapist and talking to lawyers. I don't know much about BPD but a lot of the things I read on here are fitting to him. I just ordered a book called "Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder" seemed highly recommended by the folks on TAM

[CoherentMoose]

 
Welcome to this board.  You'll find some great people here.  And this board is a wonderful resource to search through looking for stories similar to yours.  Brush up on your interwebz search skills and dive in!  Continue to post and ask questions.  There are many, like myself, that lurked for years absorbing the lessons from each story to help in my situation. 

Have you read "Stop Walking on Eggshells" by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger?  Some good background information on BPD behaviors you may find helpful.  Splitting is highly recommended too.  If there are BPD behaviors involved, it's a great resource for preparing for separating and divorcing.  Do you have children together?  If so, what are their ages? 

It's encouraging to hear he's back into therapy, but true change takes years and a dedicated commitment to therapy (CBT or DBT).  It's a long, hard road, but perhaps he can be one of the success stories.

Plan for the worst, hope for the best.  Good luck.  CoMo

[livednlearned]

DH has now started talking about his BPD and is back in therapy... I don't see a future in our marriage.

How long have you been married? Any kids?

Often things have to get pretty bad for someone to be dx'd with BPD, and to then return to therapy. I'm sorry you've had to go through all that.

Does he know how you feel about the marriage and that you want out?

Splitting is practically required reading for people here.  

Are you doing ok? Taking care of yourself? These aren't easy marriages. I hope you're able to do things for yourself and build up some strength.