Child with bpd

[Pursuit of love]

Hi. I’m in need of help. My daughter was diagnosed almost three years ago with bpd. She was a minor and begrudgingly went to therapy and on meds. When she turned 18 she decided she didn’t like group and wouldn’t go. She stopped taking meds when progressing on dbt but now she was only going to individual counselor.  The progress stopped. Then covid shut everything down and put her on zoom. She went down hill over the year. She told her counselor they couldn’t speak to anyone. The self isolated, started harming herself, stopped eating and then tried to end her pain, her life. We wanted to send her to inpatient place known for treating bpd but everyone said she has to agree. She did not. She was hospitalized and moved to another hospital, we were not told as she said they could not speak to us. When they were releasing her to Parshial hospitalization we asked if instead they could release her to the program for bpd. They said they would ask her, she said no. The PH was on zoom from 9-3 with an hour for lunch. So she stayed in her room and I stayed home from work. After 4 weeks the program released her to her original psychologist and for her to self refer to dbt program. She also had to find a new therapist because her therapist refused to treat her if she wouldn’t go to group. She won’t go to group. I don’t know what to do. She will be alone most of the day when others go back to college and we are back at work. I thank God that we were able to be home when she was on ph. We saw progress during that time. Now I can see slight backward slide. I don’t want to enable her to get back to where she was before. She is taking meds again but from all I’ve read she and the rest of my family need soo much more. Everyone in my family needs there own therapy and we need family therapy. I wanted therapist with experience and understanding of bpd so together we could get through this and she could heal. September scares me and my heart brakes for what she is going through. Please help

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Only Human]

Hi Pursuit of Love and welcome to the family 

I'm so sorry to hear all you've been going through with your daughter; you must all be exhausted. You have come to the right place for support and will find others here who have similar experiences. You don't have to do this alone, we've got you.

She told her counselor they couldn’t speak to anyone. The self isolated, started harming herself, stopped eating and then tried to end her pain, her life.

What a scary time, I'm so sorry. Was family therapy a part of her treatment following her suicide attempt?

We wanted to send her to inpatient place known for treating bpd but everyone said she has to agree. She did not.

It sounds like maybe she's rejected the diagnosis, would you agree? Has she talked to you about why she has quit group and why she didn't agree to go to a program for BPD?

I thank God that we were able to be home when she was on ph. We saw progress during that time. Now I can see slight backward slide.

It's great that you saw some progress during the time she was on partial hospitalization; especially during COVID. What are the behaviors you are seeing that you describe as a slight backward slide?

Sorry for all the questions - it helps to know more so that we can know how to best support you.

Welcome again - I'm sorry you had to find us but I'm really glad you did.

~ OH