Custody Case, 1 Year Old Baby, And False Allegations

[Ronsnow24]

First post here. I read "walking on eggshells" over the last few days on audible app. I'm a 34M who broke off engagement and ended relations with my ex 32F after just dealing with her crazy raging and weird behaviors..paranoia
about me over nothing and found how she has had some past history of this. Fast forward... Found out we had a kid together, verified through court. After that she went no contact other than to berate and rage at me on the phone and a week together with the baby where things were ok. She's 1 and I started a paternity/custody case for her in Nevada 3/25/21 have a custody hearing 3/26/22. She's been making false sexual assault allegations too. As I am the latest to learn what a distortion campaign is. It's crazy that i have seen her do this to others and not really known it...even enabled it myself. I have been steering the paternity/custody case on my own...the family law consultations I had were expensive and not useful. I need help from someone that knows how to deal with this...

 That book is getting recommended to people around me already. it describes everything that's happened to me. Alot of the things that went on from her past too. It even described all the ways that I've felt even... My brain is fried. I haven't run out of tears for the future of my 1 year old daughter...or my ex even really. I would love her to get help but there's no way I can be apart of the cycle anymore. I finally know what this is..? There is hope. Maybe?

[herbivorestepmom]

Hi Ronsnow24 -- welcome to the group. My husband and his BPDex went through a similar situation. They have a 5yo daughter together and have only just recently finalized all of the parenting plan and child support legalities. It took us 3+ years in court to get things straightened out. The BPDex drug her feet the entire time and my husband and I had to be the persistent ones. She attempted everything from leaving the country to avoid having to file court paperwork to filing false child abuse allegations against us.

The best advice I can give you is to be persistent and find a paternity rights lawyer. We found my husband's through a google search in our area, then went and had the free consultation with him to feel out his knowledge on how to handle difficult individuals. He was a GODSEND. While his ex went through multiple lawyers, we had a rock solid lawyer that specifically fought for men and paternity rights, and it paid off. Yes, lawyers and mediations aren't cheap, but they are A LOT cheaper than court fees.

Things are still rocky while dealing with the BPDex, but at least she can't argue anything anymore because all legal matters are established.

From experience, nothing is better than legal documentation when it comes to co-parenting with someone with BPD or BPD traits. They will always try to bend the rules in their favor, but when you have a legal parenting plan in place and child support legally calculated, they can't do anything but whine. Family courts usually want to see parents try to work it out amongst themselves, so hire a good lawyer and have them do the heavy lifting for you.

When things get rough, just remember that you got this!