Happy Christmas

[Sancho]

To everyone who posts here or just comes here to read. Christmas is a often a chaotic time for us in practical terms, but also a time when we grieve, when we feel the pain of all the years we have struggled or it can even be a time of abuse and violence.

This year the chaos and anxiety of the past few days has settled. Yesterday I didn't know whether dd was getting bashed - a few hours of intense anxiety. Today she has the oven on and gd is dashing around moving presents from one spot to another.

This is the rollercoaster ride of living alongside BPD.

I just thought I'd post to say how amazing I think everyone here is and I hope that this season brings some happy times for all of us.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Leaf56]

Thanks, Sancho. Happy, happy Christmas!

[marzipan67]

I hope that everyone here is having a great day, and a Merry Holiday if you celebrate it.

My only concession to the holiday was to send a gift card to my DD. She has just moved into a new apartment with my gd and her care giver, so it was a sort of housewarming gift. Since I have started setting boundaries, I feel a lot better about her. For example, if she calls at a bad time, I don't pick up because saying it's a bad time doesn't register and she will talk anyway. I only pick up if I am able to chat, and then I limit it to under twenty minutes or she will hang on indefinitely. She tries to guilt trip me by putting my gd on first and then say I am being cruel if I don't hang on indefinitely. And so on. 

I try to do face time at least every other week. At any sign of temperament or rudeness, the call gets cut short. Let's see how long that lasts, ! It's a learning curve on both sides.

[By Still Water]

Hello and Merry Christmas!
   I’ve been thinking of fellow members, knowing the pain - especially during estrangement. It hurts even more on Christmas. I wonder why they can’t count the wonderful family times we had together - why they focus on the molehills they blew up into imaginary mountains, to believe we are awful people. We’ve had our other two sons converse with us, today, in love. We aim to focus on the lovely in life.
   Love to all, here, who have been discarded.