Parenting time denial: "selective incompetence" and "bystander role"

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Just stumbled across a 2022 parenting time case that seems to be a real-world example of Dr. Craig Childress' theory of selective incompetence:

https://casetext.com/case/marriage-of-rideout

Sections 381-382: "This evidence shows that Sara does not understand her obligation to require Caroline to comply with the parenting plan. Instead, she wants to cast herself in the role of a bystander without the power or right to require that Caroline follow the parenting plan. But the law imposes a greater responsibility on Sara. She, not Caroline, bears the primary responsibility to ensure that Caroline visit with her father according to the parenting plan. And she must, in good faith, make every effort to require Caroline to do so."

https://drcachildress.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Pathogenic-Parenting-and-the-Attachment-System-Qustion-Answer-Format-Childress-2012.pdf

Page 21: "At other times this exploitation symptom can be expressed by the idealized parent as selective parental incompetence relative to the child’s symptoms. The idealized parent will often use the phrase “I can’t make the child go on visitations” as a way of exploiting the child’s symptom display to undermine visitations with the other parent. It is a selective parental incompetence in that in other areas of functioning the child is highly obedient with the idealized parent. It is only in relation to visitation transfers that the idealized parent displays this level of parental incompetence."

Hope this helps anyone here dealing with PT enforcement.

[kells76]

Just stumbled across a 2022 parenting time case that seems to be a real-world example of Dr. Craig Childress' theory of selective incompetence:

https://casetext.com/case/marriage-of-rideout

Sections 381-382: "This evidence shows that Sara does not understand her obligation to require Caroline to comply with the parenting plan. Instead, she wants to cast herself in the role of a bystander without the power or right to require that Caroline follow the parenting plan. But the law imposes a greater responsibility on Sara. She, not Caroline, bears the primary responsibility to ensure that Caroline visit with her father according to the parenting plan. And she must, in good faith, make every effort to require Caroline to do so."

https://drcachildress.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/Pathogenic-Parenting-and-the-Attachment-System-Qustion-Answer-Format-Childress-2012.pdf

Page 21: "At other times this exploitation symptom can be expressed by the idealized parent as selective parental incompetence relative to the child’s symptoms. The idealized parent will often use the phrase “I can’t make the child go on visitations” as a way of exploiting the child’s symptom display to undermine visitations with the other parent. It is a selective parental incompetence in that in other areas of functioning the child is highly obedient with the idealized parent. It is only in relation to visitation transfers that the idealized parent displays this level of parental incompetence."

Hope this helps anyone here dealing with PT enforcement.

[ForeverDad]

I once had a case before a lousy magistrate who was clearly vexxed with her caseload that day.  She made lousy decisions but somehow she did manage one gem... She asked whether our son (then grade school) was allowed to decide when he would go to school.  That obvious answer was, "Of course not. The parents decide."

Since parents are expected to enforce school attendance, it is similar when complying with the parenting schedule.

[Turkish]

Do you think there's a difference between, say, a 9 year old and a 15-16 year old?

[sterlingblue]

This sure hits home for me.  I've seen my S11 for a total of 4 minutes since Christmas.  I have a court date coming up August 1, so hopefully things will change soon.