DAUGHTER WITH BPD

[DoodleMom]

Good Morning Everyone -
First off, thank you for letting me join this group and community.
My 21 year old daughter has been diagnosed with BPD.  After a very long history she has finally found a therapist and psychiatrist that she feels comfortable with.  For the longest time she would not take any medicine because she did not like the way they made her feel.  She is now on medicine which seems to be helping her.
However, as you all probably know, it only takes the slightest thing for her to all of a sudden snap and go into a rant of rage.  She has been able to hold a job for the last few months which we are all very grateful for.
I was hoping for some advice from others dealing with family members with BPD.  My family and I go out of our way not to trigger her in any way, but it is absolutely exhausting.  We try to stay one step ahead and try to anticipate what she may need so we have it readily available in the house.  We know not to speak with her first thing in the morning or when she gets home from work.  I just feel that there must be a better way.
In addition, my husband and I are hoping to retire to Florida, and we are trying to figure out how to get her settled in a living situation because she does not want to move with us.  I know she would like to move in with her older brother, but he has his own physical and mental health issues, and this would cause an added burden for him.
Any suggestions would be welcome.
Thanks so much for letting me rant.
Talk soon!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Mary Jean]

Hello
I have a daughter diagnosed with BPD too.  She is 48 years old.
She didn’t have any trouble until her college years. The last 5 years have been very difficult.  She has been estranged from us for 3 years.  She wants to blame me her mother for her illness. I am not sure where this came from, but we gave all of our children good parenting, a good home, and a good education. She appreciates nothing. She and her family moved several states away 2 years ago.  She does communicate on occasion.
It was terrible hurtful earlier this summer when they all came home and they only visited her sisters They completely ignored
us. Unbelievable. At least she doesn’t live with us, that would be rough.  Good luck going forward. I hope you have good support. My husband and I have joined NAMI. You might think about that in order to find support for yourself.

[Aralia]

Dear DoodleMom,
Hello and welcome, I am relatively new here myself.  My 20 year old daughter has uBPD.  You mentioned in your post that your daughter has finally found herself psychiatrist and therapist who are a good fit.  I think that is a really huge step and while you may not see immediate results, over time you should see some improvements in DD's behavior.  I am also considering joining NAMI and I believe they offer a training course for families.