Hello

[Arbek]

I have a 24-year-old daughter with BPD along with other diagnoses. I’m never sure if her behaviors are related to BPD or if her other diagnoses (bipolar II, depression, OCD, ADHD) present as BPD…at any rate, she has tried 3 different residential treatment programs, has been on every medication under the sun, has participated in php and iOS programs, has done TMS and ketamine treatments, and has been hospitalized twice…nothing needs to work. She will be coming home next week from a residential program which has seemed very ineffectual. Her conversations on the phone always turn to how much she does not want to exist…my husband and I are perpetually worried and stressed…
I’m grateful to have found this platform total into for advice and support!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Sancho]

Oh Arbek! Looking at the date of your post, it must be time now for your dd to come home - or she may even be home.

As I type this I am thinking of you and the heart breaking situation you have. From what you say, you have been on this journey for a while, have had your hopes raised with every new treatment or possibility only to be back in the same position each time.

It is a truly exhausting and painful road.

I've been on this journey, at times my anxiety seemed to be in every bone in my body. I literally felt like I was falling apart.

My journey has turned around - but it's not dd that has changed in any way - it's that I have changed.

First I found a mantra - 'I didn't cause this, I can't control it, I can't cure it'. I think it actually was a way to let go of feeling responsible for what was happening and that I had to 'fix it'.

Then I used one sentences from a list of ways for 'Letting go'. It was the last sentence 'Letting go means to fear less and to love more'.

I know my dd is loved, because I love her and I understand a little of the pain she carries day to day as a result of BPD and other diagnoses. I know I will respond to any possibility of help that comes our way and I will support her as much as I can.

But in the long run I can't make her decisions for her - and that could mean really tough roads ahead. But these days I focus on the fact that she is loved, I know her inner beauty and will hold on to that in the days ahead.

You are in my thoughts . . . . .