Space

[Wonder woman]

My adult son requested space from me after we disagreed about a lifestyle choice he made. This has continued for a couple of months now. I feel hurt and am becoming angry. At the same time want to be connected. I feel I am a victim of his condition sometimes. I literally dont have the skills to manage our relationship positively. I'm stuck.

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[SinisterComplex]

My adult son requested space from me after we disagreed about a lifestyle choice he made. This has continued for a couple of months now. I feel hurt and am becoming angry. At the same time want to be connected. I feel I am a victim of his condition sometimes. I literally dont have the skills to manage our relationship positively. I'm stuck.

Hello and welcome to the fam.  Happy you found us, but I am sorry for the circumstances that led to you seeking us out.

In the meantime please be kind to you and take care of yourself...these things cannot be stressed enough and cannot be taken for granted.

I will tag my team in on this.

Cheers and best wishes!

-SC-

[atthebeginning]

Reading through the posts on this forum has helped me no end.
We're pretty helpless when a son or daughter has bpd and I'm coming to the realisation that as long as we're helping enough to let us sleep at night (roof over head maximum if they allow it) then it's more important to concentrate on the rest of the family and ourselves... otherwise we spend all the time thinking about them and trying to get them to do things which they should be doing for themselves.  If they are in therapy then that's a bonus, but you can't make the horse drink and with a bpd you can't even get it to the waterhole easily.  It seems that a rock bottom time in their lives might be the best opportunity to get them help when they don't want it.
All of this is from a beginner and I know I have much to learn, but the other folks here have convinced me that I deserve to put myself first... and I'm grateful that I learned that so early in the game!

[Turkish]

Values disagreements are hard, especially when we see them as destructive. What happened?