New medications - completely unexpected (and positive) behavior change.

[maxsterling]

During one of Ws many drawn out moods recently, she decided that her P was not working for her and decided to call up the practice and switch to a different P.  This is not the first time she has done this and typically nothing changes.

This time she was put on a new antidepressant called Auvelity, and an extended release Benzo.  The Benzo she is supposed to take daily rather than when she feels anxious.  She had been taking a short acting Benzo and various different anti-depressants. 

Her behavior has changed nearly 180 degrees in a very short amount of time.  She has had a positive attitude for the first time in years, has managed to work though issues that normally she could not even come close to handling, spent 3 days at my parents house without complaining about them - not even once.  And she even has been apologizing if she has been grouchy towards me or the kids.  It literally is night and day from just 2 weeks ago.  She has gone from being completely non-functional to someone capable of dealing with problems in a rational way.

While I am quite happy about this, I feel really, really cautious and do not want to trust the new mood.  I still feel the eggshells because years of her snapping over the smallest things still has me on high alert.  It almost feels like I have a void now because normally I would spend considerable time and energy dealing with her moods - and now I am not.

Has anyone else seen such a drastic change from a pwBPD in response to medicie, and if so, did it last?

[Couscous]

It almost feels like I have a void now because normally I would spend considerable time and energy dealing with her moods - and now I am not.

Congratulations!  This is what’s known as “hitting bottom”, and it is a very good thing. The time has finally come turn your focus onto yourself, something you may never have done before, but it’s going to feel terrible for a little while. But there is light at the end of the tunnel.

If you are currently in therapy, this would be a very good time to address this issue. If you’re not, then it would be a great time to start. Best wishes.

[ForeverDad]

While I am quite happy about this, I feel really, really cautious and do not want to trust the new mood.  I still feel the eggshells because years of her snapping over the smallest things still has me on high alert...

We're happy too.  It's almost too good to be true.  But frankly, no one can say one way or the other how it eventually turns out, it's simply too soon to determine whether this is a long term improvement.  So yes, rejoice with what you have thus far.  We're here beside ourselves glad for this turn of events.  Let time deal with what happens in the days, weeks and months to come.

Has anyone else seen such a drastic change from a pwBPD in response to medicine, and if so, did it last?

My ex was resistant to using medications, though she was open to herbs and essential oils.  So I can't comment directly to your question.  But I recall that when our son was born she was concerned whether she would be able to nurse him and a nurse recommended fenugreek to aid in milk production.  And it worked.  I was supportive of breastfeeding but I could only get her to agree to 6 months.

Well, I was so happy that she nursed for 14 months!  The downside was her negative moods.  However it was as the contrast of night versus day when she stopped nursing.  For 2 months she was a different person, virtually normal.  I began wondering what I'd lived through was a spouse with post-partum depression (PPD).

Then the unavoidable happened.  She got into a tiff with one of her friends and wham, she relapsed, as though the prior 2 months hadn't occurred.

Treasure this time you have with her now.  It may be more than temporary, it may just be the start of a whole new positive her.

[Notwendy]

I haven't hear of this medicine and being new, I don't think my BPD mother has taken it.

Personally, I haven't seen a medicine have a long term positive impact on her. I don't know how this one would do, or if she'd even consider it.

I hope this is a beginning to something better for the two of you. Time would tell on this one.

What I think is most significant on your part is that you recognized the void in you from less caretaking- and that you are a part of the dynamics between the two of you. Your task is to also change your behavior, so as to not risk falling back on your familiar patterns.

I have read about this kind of thing happening- in the AA book, they found that the wives' enabling impacted the alcoholic's recovery. There was no bad intentions here- they cared about their husbands and thought they were doing the right thing. You care about your wife, but caretaking also reinforces the maladaptive behaviors. You are both in familiar behavior patterns. Doing something different isn't familiar or comfortable but perhaps this is your opportunity to do something different too.