IM NOT CRAZY

[two]

Finding this site was such a relief. I have felt that I was going crazy!  My BPD child has me doubting everything I have ever done as a mother and every word I had ever uttered!  Anyone else feel the same?  I was soo exhausted. I felt like was walking on eggshells whenever she was near. Things I said or did are constantly twisted until they are not even close to what I "think" I said to the point I was questioning my own sanity. She will follow me from room to room and scream at me. She calls me dense and Stupid. Tells me she wants nothing to do with me, that she will make sure I never see my grand children again...and two days later I am her best friend.  She take NO responsibility for anything in her life.  She gets evicted,,,,its the land lords fault. She doesn't pay phone bill and it gets cut off,,,,not her fault..   ...doesn't pay her daycare,,,MY fault if I don't pay it.


help!

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[kells76]

two, I can relate to the feeling of relief after wondering about going crazy. My H's kids' mom has many BPD-type traits, and for a long time I actually documented everything that we did with the kids, because she would be so critical about us and our choices, and I would think -- am I the crazy one for... feeding the kids fruit salad? (yes, really did get complaints about that).

So I think I'm reading that your D and the baby live with you? When she follows you around screaming, what have you done in the past?

Anyone else living in the house with the three of you?

Hang in there -- this is a good group to support you in these extremely stressful times.

[tristesse]

Hi Two
You gave a perfect description of my DD, how life used to be with her.
Let me just say it can get better. There are many useful tools to help you.
I went to therapy for myself , and my DD is still in therapy. I learned so many things about BPD, and how to communicate more effectively .There are some great books out there too.
My DD needs to know that I have her back, she needs constant and continuous reassurance, it helps her to stay regulated and stable, it costs me nothing to accommodate that need.
Our relationship has gotten so much better because I have learned, and put forth that effort. She has done plenty of work to get better also, but if I had not fixed how I interact with her, our relationship would have never changed.
the thing to understand is that a BPD is a master at manipulation, they are great at gaslighting, and attack those they love most , first. Not to be mean, it is almost self preservation for them. They will hurt you before you can hurt them. they fear abandonment etc. and they also hate themselves immensely. Do yourself a favor, go to therapy.
I am sending you massive hugs across the internet, and support. I understand, you are not alone.

[two]

My bpd daughter and granddaughter just moved put after living with me for 9 months and totally destroying any peace in my home. Now she will bring the baby when she needs a babysitter and follows me from room to room screaming accusations and calling me names. I have tried ignoring her and she screams louder and keeps placing her face in front of mine. I have tried telling her to please leave and she screams ill never see the kids again...I'm lost...if I refuse to let her in the house, I'm afraid the grandkids will suffer,,,bit I can't live like this. She just takes over my whole home when she comes over