holidays

[BPDstinks]

This will be the 4th major holiday (not including birthday) with minimal contact with BPD; how do those with estrangement issues (as directed by BPD) handle holidays (other than sadness, depression, etc.) I have been sending ONE text and a card with a gift card (I saw advise about a "low key" card) (i write a message like "please buy yourself something special) (again, low key vs. I miss you, I love you, call me!) sigh

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[Pook075]

Personally, I think it might be more impactful to not send a gift at all since sending something can be taken as "I owe you still so I'll keep trying to buy your love."

How to deal with being without that person for the holidays is a different matter though.  That's a "you-thing" and you have to accept that the current situation is outside your control.  Make alternate plans and celebrate the holiday on your own terms as a part of detaching.