Another vacation ruined - so surprised! (Sarcasm)

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

More of a vent and just further validation that moving towards divorce is the answer… I’ve lost count of how many special occasions, holidays, Christmases, you name it that have been ruined and taken over by my uBPDw and her becoming completely dysregulated. She’s an alcoholic too, but is in incomplete denial. I’m mean, true we’re on vacation but a lot of times it starts with her drinking excessively. Everything’s happy until it’s not. Alcohol definitely is not a prerequisite though. She’s completely capable of becoming unhinged stone cold sober.

My wife’s mother is paying for a family vacation for our family and my wife’s sister‘s family to all be together for the week over New Year’s out of the country. After a long, first day of traveling everybody getting along great the second day started out great as well. We all went to the breakfast buffet, at nine in the morning my wife and her sister started drinking mimosas. Not unexpected, but then came a bottle of Prosecco and she barely ate any breakfast. She had a few bites of food literally. I got her an omelette from the omelette bar. She didn’t touch it. And she didn’t eat the rest of the day! But she continue drinking the rest of the day. Not uncommon. I had gone with her sister out of the resort to run an errand. When we came back just a couple hours later I spoke to my wife on the phone and she was slurring her words at 2pm But she was still in a positive mood. Next thing I knew she went out with her sister to another resort bar, a short while latershe was sending me a text that she was frustrated with her sister. And it just continued to escalate from there. She went from raging on her sister because she wasn’t there for her or something blah blah, then predictably to raging at me. (she says the reason she was so upset is because I had her hospitalized last summer in a psych facility.) she wouldn’t come out to dinner with the entire family then she was mad because I didn’t leave dinner to come and get her out of the hotel. Even though we all asked her to come to dinner many times even after we got there we were texting her telling her to come join us. I even offered to come meet her if she wasn’t sure how to get to the restaurant we were at (it was a short walk from the room). After the family finished at the restaurant we walked back and she was sitting with suprise, a glass of wine in the lobby of the hotel, and wanted to. “Talk”. For her to talk means vent out her feelings and spiral spiral spiral spiral. She always says we need to resolve this now! You need to fix this!  I’ve literally heard all this 100 times, this episode is no different than the 100s of others. I’m of course, being calm and her mother had come out of the room and I was trying to talk her down. Everybody talks to her and tells her to calm down. everybody else thinks she can just pull it together and that she’s normal. I know there’s no use because this is a serious mental illness & she’s drunk as a skunk. Next thing I know hotel security came into the lobby because someone was complaining about fighting and screaming. (my wife). Her mom and I managed to calm her down. At this point, I’m not worried about the long-term bs, I don’t care about telling her what she wants. I basically promised her I would never call the police, which isn’t true of course. I hundred percent believe that I’m gonna end up calling the police on her at our home, she gets violent and aggressive and physical. And I think that there’s gonna be a point where I do call the police and that will be the end of our marriage, because I’ll probably have to get a restraining order..

I wish I could say this was abnormal or unexpected. The fact is it is almost more surprising if she doesn’t have an episode during a trip or special occasion.

So most here already know it but if your partner ruins special occasions, or holidays, you are not alone. I cannot count how many Christmases are other special days or holidays have had this cloud over them. All I keep thinking of this week is how this is probably the last holiday. I’ll be taking with her… I fantasize about what it’s gonna be like to travel in peace to live in peace. Not looking forward to the 6-12 months of hell of going through the divorce. Sad for my kids but it’s the right thing for them as well.

[campbembpd]

More of a vent and just further validation that moving towards divorce is the answer… I’ve lost count of how many special occasions, holidays, Christmases, you name it that have been ruined and taken over by my uBPDw and her becoming completely dysregulated. She’s an alcoholic too, but is in incomplete denial. I’m mean, true we’re on vacation but a lot of times it starts with her drinking excessively. Everything’s happy until it’s not. Alcohol definitely is not a prerequisite though. She’s completely capable of becoming unhinged stone cold sober.

My wife’s mother is paying for a family vacation for our family and my wife’s sister‘s family to all be together for the week over New Year’s out of the country. After a long, first day of traveling everybody getting along great the second day started out great as well. We all went to the breakfast buffet, at nine in the morning my wife and her sister started drinking mimosas. Not unexpected, but then came a bottle of Prosecco and she barely ate any breakfast. She had a few bites of food literally. I got her an omelette from the omelette bar. She didn’t touch it. And she didn’t eat the rest of the day! But she continue drinking the rest of the day. Not uncommon. I had gone with her sister out of the resort to run an errand. When we came back just a couple hours later I spoke to my wife on the phone and she was slurring her words at 2pm But she was still in a positive mood. Next thing I knew she went out with her sister to another resort bar, a short while latershe was sending me a text that she was frustrated with her sister. And it just continued to escalate from there. She went from raging on her sister because she wasn’t there for her or something blah blah, then predictably to raging at me. (she says the reason she was so upset is because I had her hospitalized last summer in a psych facility.) she wouldn’t come out to dinner with the entire family then she was mad because I didn’t leave dinner to come and get her out of the hotel. Even though we all asked her to come to dinner many times even after we got there we were texting her telling her to come join us. I even offered to come meet her if she wasn’t sure how to get to the restaurant we were at (it was a short walk from the room). After the family finished at the restaurant we walked back and she was sitting with suprise, a glass of wine in the lobby of the hotel, and wanted to. “Talk”. For her to talk means vent out her feelings and spiral spiral spiral spiral. She always says we need to resolve this now! You need to fix this!  I’ve literally heard all this 100 times, this episode is no different than the 100s of others. I’m of course, being calm and her mother had come out of the room and I was trying to talk her down. Everybody talks to her and tells her to calm down. everybody else thinks she can just pull it together and that she’s normal. I know there’s no use because this is a serious mental illness & she’s drunk as a skunk. Next thing I know hotel security came into the lobby because someone was complaining about fighting and screaming. (my wife). Her mom and I managed to calm her down. At this point, I’m not worried about the long-term bs, I don’t care about telling her what she wants. I basically promised her I would never call the police, which isn’t true of course. I hundred percent believe that I’m gonna end up calling the police on her at our home, she gets violent and aggressive and physical. And I think that there’s gonna be a point where I do call the police and that will be the end of our marriage, because I’ll probably have to get a restraining order..

I wish I could say this was abnormal or unexpected. The fact is it is almost more surprising if she doesn’t have an episode during a trip or special occasion.

So most here already know it but if your partner ruins special occasions, or holidays, you are not alone. I cannot count how many Christmases are other special days or holidays have had this cloud over them. All I keep thinking of this week is how this is probably the last holiday. I’ll be taking with her… I fantasize about what it’s gonna be like to travel in peace to live in peace. Not looking forward to the 6-12 months of hell of going through the divorce. Sad for my kids but it’s the right thing for them as well.