Wondering where i belong. Last thing the exuBPDgf said to me was "you're the ugliest human being ive ever met, inside and out", "i wish i never met you, it was the biggest mistake of my life", "i hope you die", "i will never talk to you again" ect ect. Of course this was 3 days after she said "you're so georgeous", "i know i cant live without you" and "you're the love of my life", and 3 and a half months after she proposed to me.
With that being said, i have to assume i wont ever see her again, or talk, and im not gonna break NC unless she does. Which board do i belong on in that case? I know i wont detatch for a long time, if ever. I love her and will always want to be with her if i can somehow, to be honest. Even though i know the chances are slim to none that it will ever work out.
You are very undecided my man, so don't be running off anywhere soon, you hear?

Regardless of whether you are staying, undecided, or leaving, there is a lot of effort needed to deal with the pain of your relationship and heal yourself.
I've only read this one post of yours, but I can see you are well aware that what you SO says is not necessarily what she does or will keep doing. That level of awareness is indeed a good thing. You may not be aware though that you aren't ever going to change that but you can change how you respond and those changes will help deal with the situation - a lot.
Have you had a look at "Choosing a Path" over to the right side of this message board.