Home page of BPDFamily.com, online relationship supportMember registration here
October 31, 2024, 05:59:15 PM *
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Board Admins: Kells76, Once Removed, Turkish
Senior Ambassadors: EyesUp, SinisterComplex
  Help!   Boards   Please Donate Login to Post New?--Click here to register  
bing
How would a child understand?
Shame, a Powerful, Painful and Potentially Dangerous Emotion
Was Part of Your Childhood Deprived by Emotional Incest?
Have Your Parents Put You at Risk for Psychopathology
Resentment: Maybe She Was Doing the...
91
Pages: [1]   Go Down
  Print  
Author Topic: BPD mother attempted contact today after 1 1/2 months  (Read 581 times)
Rosegirl39

Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Posts: 6


« on: January 17, 2013, 09:14:09 PM »

I have been NC with my mother since early Dec. She went too far in front of my son so I decided I'd had enough. So... .  today I get a text from her friend/roommate at 2:50pm that they would like to come by to drop off some gifts for my daughter (who is turning 3 tomorrow) at 3pm. 10 minutes notice!  I did not respond. 20 minutes later there's another text asking if she (the roommate/friend) can come by tomorow morning at 10am.  At first I didn't know what to do then it became clear after speaking to another family member that radio silence was my best option.  I do not want to get sucked into her manipulation again.  She did this right before Christmas and dropped off a bunch of gifts for the kids on my doorstep.  I had to tell her know that it was not ok to come over without an invitation.  So now I'm feeling anxious that one of them is just going to show up and disrupt our lives again. I'm not sure if this NC is permanent, but it's what I need now while I am healing.  Part of me is also upset that she had her roommate contact me.  It feels wrong.  This stuff has been going on my entire life, almost 40 years-and I still can't seem to get used to it.  I feel scared and derailed, again. I just wish she didn't have this power over me.  So I hope I made the right decision to not respond, it's definitely different than what I would've done in the past. I guess that's progress!   
Logged
finallyangry

*
Offline Offline

Gender: Female
What is your sexual orientation: Straight
Relationship status: I am in a serious relationship
Posts: 25



« Reply #1 on: January 18, 2013, 01:24:00 AM »

Sorry to hear youre going through this =[ Its unfortunate that with things like this even when we take control (ie setting boudaries about when she can come over) they still have to have some control because they are rather unpredictable. You should be proud of yourself for drawing a line in the sand and for not playing into the drama. You wrote that it felt wrong to have the roommate contact you instead. I can see why it would feel that way but maybe as long as youre in contact with her this will be the reality you know?

Anyway, sorry Im not offering much help. I just wanted you to know that your feelings are valid.
Logged
Can You Help Us Stay on the Air in 2024?

Pages: [1]   Go Up
  Print  
 
Jump to:  

Our 2023 Financial Sponsors
We are all appreciative of the members who provide the funding to keep BPDFamily on the air.
12years
alterK
AskingWhy
At Bay
Cat Familiar
CoherentMoose
drained1996
EZEarache
Flora and Fauna
ForeverDad
Gemsforeyes
Goldcrest
Harri
healthfreedom4s
hope2727
khibomsis
Lemon Squeezy
Memorial Donation (4)
Methos
Methuen
Mommydoc
Mutt
P.F.Change
Penumbra66
Red22
Rev
SamwizeGamgee
Skip
Swimmy55
Tartan Pants
Turkish
whirlpoollife



Powered by MySQL Powered by PHP Powered by SMF 1.1.21 | SMF © 2006-2020, Simple Machines Valid XHTML 1.0! Valid CSS!