Long time coming

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

It's taken forever to get where I'm at now.  I'm filing next week for a modification to the current order.  Between the specialist for my s18's ankle and everyone sick at least 2x since Christmas... .  I just didn't have the money for filing until now.

I tried to save myself some $$$ and asked uBPD ex about a week ago to mediate the holiday schedule... .  he replied that he wasn't giving up his rights to suit me.  Not surprising that he thinks I'm out to get him.  So, I emailed my L and simply said that I didn't want to waste time trying to negotiate with the other side and I'll take my chances with the judge.  My L said that was fine, he would submit one offer to show we tried to negotiate and then set our sights on trial in 4-8 months. 

My biggest concern is uBPD ex filling d10's head with more junk once he finds out I filed.  It's bad enough already.  Anything he can do to suck pity out of her... .  he'll do it.  He started having "heart hiccups" again after many years of not having them.  He refuses to see a doctor so he hasn't been diagnosed with anything.  When we first got together, he would have these "hiccups" and I would cry, beg, and plead for him to go to the doctor.  He made the most excruciating faces and clutch his chest while writhing on the floor.  It seemed like the more I cried, the more he had the "hiccups".  I got to a point where I would toss the phone to him as I passed through the room and tell him if it got bad enough he would call for help.  Shortly thereafter... .  they stopped completely until recently. 

I don't think he puts on the full show for d10, but whatever he has shown her is enough to keep her awake with worry at night.  She's mentioned that she's scared he will be driving his car and die from his heart pain.  I remind her that he is fine and if it hurts too much, he will go to the doctor. 

Didn't mean to make this a long, drawn out post.  I think I'm going to look into another T for d10 next week.  I think she's going to need it. 

[Untouched]

It's taken forever to get where I'm at now.  I'm filing next week for a modification to the current order.  Between the specialist for my s18's ankle and everyone sick at least 2x since Christmas... .  I just didn't have the money for filing until now.

I tried to save myself some $$$ and asked uBPD ex about a week ago to mediate the holiday schedule... .  he replied that he wasn't giving up his rights to suit me.  Not surprising that he thinks I'm out to get him.  So, I emailed my L and simply said that I didn't want to waste time trying to negotiate with the other side and I'll take my chances with the judge.  My L said that was fine, he would submit one offer to show we tried to negotiate and then set our sights on trial in 4-8 months. 

My biggest concern is uBPD ex filling d10's head with more junk once he finds out I filed.  It's bad enough already.  Anything he can do to suck pity out of her... .  he'll do it.  He started having "heart hiccups" again after many years of not having them.  He refuses to see a doctor so he hasn't been diagnosed with anything.  When we first got together, he would have these "hiccups" and I would cry, beg, and plead for him to go to the doctor.  He made the most excruciating faces and clutch his chest while writhing on the floor.  It seemed like the more I cried, the more he had the "hiccups".  I got to a point where I would toss the phone to him as I passed through the room and tell him if it got bad enough he would call for help.  Shortly thereafter... .  they stopped completely until recently. 

I don't think he puts on the full show for d10, but whatever he has shown her is enough to keep her awake with worry at night.  She's mentioned that she's scared he will be driving his car and die from his heart pain.  I remind her that he is fine and if it hurts too much, he will go to the doctor. 

Didn't mean to make this a long, drawn out post.  I think I'm going to look into another T for d10 next week.  I think she's going to need it. 

[ForeverDad]

My father had a bad heart. I'm sure it was true.  His mother started a life insurance policy for him, I think he was still a teen, paying $5.20 per year.  He died of course... .  at age 91.  Made me realize we all have something wrong with us healthwise, or maybe several somethings.  But most of us live with them for an awfully long, long time.

[Untouched]

I agree with your post ForeverDad and I am sorry about your father.  I realize what you said is true.  I find it extremely difficult to give my ex the benefit of a doubt about anything though.  I usually get taken to the cleaners when I do, so I've learned not to. 

[ForeverDad]

Actually, I was making the point that we all have health issues, your ex is no special case.  And it's possible to make them seem far larger than they really are.  In my case, my father retired early saying he would die soon but he lived for another 30 years on a lower Social Security income due to retiring at the earliest age.

For your ex to use a claimed health issue, most likely exaggerated, to coerce, manipulate and guilt, that's not good either.  Don't feel bad about tossing him the phone - or chuckling at the sight.  You had probably enabled him to dupe you more than enough already.  Since he knows it won't work on you anymore, now he's doing it to your daughter.

You are entirely justified to be skeptical about anything else he claims. 

Once burned, twice shy.

Fool me once, shame on you.

Fool me twice, shame on me.