Do pwBPD notice things more?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

I am wondering if this is a common trait with BPD or just something unique to my BPD partner, friend, bf, ex (really not sure what to refer to him at this point). Anyways, he is always noticing everything about me. My hair, my eyes, the way I dress ect. It makes me so self consious. He even told me he notices things that he does'nt mention. Yikes. I am not perfect. Who is? Do they look for flaws? Does this have something to do with them mirroring? Just wondeing if anyone else has experienced this.

[benny2]

I am wondering if this is a common trait with BPD or just something unique to my BPD partner, friend, bf, ex (really not sure what to refer to him at this point). Anyways, he is always noticing everything about me. My hair, my eyes, the way I dress ect. It makes me so self consious. He even told me he notices things that he does'nt mention. Yikes. I am not perfect. Who is? Do they look for flaws? Does this have something to do with them mirroring? Just wondeing if anyone else has experienced this.

[inepted]

My pwBPD does this all the time. One of the reasons why she doesn't have many friends I believe. Its like she has no inner voice sometimes. I dont think they notice things more than anyone else, but just sort of lack that conscience of knowing when not to say something that could come off as rude or insulting. Because to them, they're simply making an observation; to them its no different than if they said the sky is blue.

[gina louise]

my HUSBAND always compared, noticed, made comments and somehow I was lacking.

Especially if it's personal-Looks, smile, boobs, figure, hair... .  He wanted a Trophy Wife but he's NO prize!

He's close to 60 and was ogling the 30 year olds or even the teenagers.

it was gross and made him seem creepy and lecherous.

After a while I started commenting on men. Especially athletes on TV.(something he's NOT) Oh he's HOT, wow he's CUTE! I think that pissed him off.

GL

[spratrbo]

For my wife I believe it is all about image... .  not a TRUE image, but a concern for people's perceptions. Because anything less than perfect is completely flawed. There is no in between. And YOU are an extension of that perfection perception.  The lies, the stories my wife tells people... .  everything MUST paint your SO in a perfect light. I believe my wife knows what's right and wrong, but I also see it being a very fragile deck of cards.

In your situation if you are being scrutinized for your looks, it's time to go! Be strong, set your boundaries, and have enough self respect to say "This is me... .  take it or leave it!"  You are perfect in your own right and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.