my pwBPD puzzle...

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

She is giving silent treatment and ragefilled replies to text,blaming mostly.

two weeks ago, I was "my BFF(boyfriend forever),"my greatest love"

"my sweetheart" and so on. How suddenly her mind goes to become a "hater" from "lover"  It left me stunned and dazed. Now, she is blaming me for not treating her right, calling her names and she has this urgent need to move on with her life. But, to my surprize, she still keeps our picture on her facebook cover.She still allowing me access to all her facebook material and friends. Though no activity on her facebook for last 10 days. It puzzles me. I can't call,can't see her. Texts only and replies are occasional and negative only. We used to talk atleast 3 times each day. Can anyone help me guess what really is going on?

She did get dysregulated about 12 days ago when all this behavior changed.

[wanttoknowmore]

She is giving silent treatment and ragefilled replies to text,blaming mostly.

two weeks ago, I was "my BFF(boyfriend forever),"my greatest love"

"my sweetheart" and so on. How suddenly her mind goes to become a "hater" from "lover"  It left me stunned and dazed. Now, she is blaming me for not treating her right, calling her names and she has this urgent need to move on with her life. But, to my surprize, she still keeps our picture on her facebook cover.She still allowing me access to all her facebook material and friends. Though no activity on her facebook for last 10 days. It puzzles me. I can't call,can't see her. Texts only and replies are occasional and negative only. We used to talk atleast 3 times each day. Can anyone help me guess what really is going on?

She did get dysregulated about 12 days ago when all this behavior changed.

[Somewhere]

She is giving silent treatment and ragefilled replies to text,blaming mostly.

two weeks ago, I was "my BFF(boyfriend forever),"my greatest love"

"my sweetheart" and so on. How suddenly her mind goes to become a "hater" from "lover"  It left me stunned and dazed. Now, she is blaming me for not treating her right, calling her names and she has this urgent need to move on with her life. But, to my surprize, she still keeps our picture on her facebook cover.She still allowing me access to all her facebook material and friends. Though no activity on her facebook for last 10 days. It puzzles me. I can't call,can't see her. Texts only and replies are occasional and negative only. We used to talk atleast 3 times each day. Can anyone help me guess what really is going on?

She did get dysregulated about 12 days ago when all this behavior changed.

Yep.  I can tell you what is going on.

You have spent the last 12 days of your life not figuring out that a crazy person is . . .  well . . .  crazy.

Be patient.  You will get there.

   

You follow I am kind of joking with you, but that is what is going on.

So what would you rather be doing with your life?

[wanttoknowmore]

Thanks somwhere for making me laugh,

My difficulty is the UNCERTAINTY. This is for the first time she did this in last 2 years so I still love her as the hurt is not bad enough yet to run away. I feel like I have this need to understand why such a lovely person can suddenly change like this. I still feel like I need to help her ,IF I CAN... .  even a little bit and then, leave in good terms. I dont think she is with another guy as she has too many issues going on about her job,her health and her childrens problems. Give me some more guestimate as to what is most likely going to happen so I can prepare for it. Just from your experience. Is the facebook cover picture has any meaning? If done, why not remove the my picture? Her picture in attire I gifted her. I offered her that I would like to return all gifts she gave to me in two years. She didnot respond.

I want to take one more risk with her .If this happens again ,I will walk out of this r/s.

[Somewhere]

Another guy?

That is just another accessory, either way.

Where she is at is another . . . planet.

One where you could not breath the air, anyway -- be very glad you are not along on that part of the ride.  Very Toxic.  You ever been along on a De-Comp trip with a BPD?  You would not mind losing her if you had.  Like spending some time with a demon.

You mentioned kids.  That is an ethics thing.  Are kids older, and ok?

[wanttoknowmore]

somewhere,

what is a de comp trip? Yes,children are adult but withou jobs living with her.

One is depressed... other unable to date any girl... possibly gay (she suspects)

Kids have their own lots of issues. She has treat of job loss and multiple health problems, blood pressure,diabetes, arm pain, headaches etc.

[Somewhere]

de-compensation?  Old School term for Dysregulation.

"Gone Nutters" in the more common language.

I bet the kids are damaged, even as adults.

Steer Clear of the Iceberg.  Much more below the water than what you see.

[tut-uncommon]

1. Welcome to the "other side of the fence" that you didnt know existed. I too had a similar experience in the last 20 or so days. I went from hero to zero.

2. You're in the right place! This has been a great resource for me to hear other's experiences and perspectives. Yes, there are quite a few of "us" nonBPD's in relationships with BPD's.

3. Load yourself up with knowledge . . .  This board, books like "stop walking on eggshells", etc.

you can make a better decision when you know a little more about it. It is a treatable disorder BUT it takes years and the pwBPD has to choose to seek help.