NC/LC when her kids keep contacting me..?

[KE151]

About 7 months since break up, some sporadic contact up until two months ago, since early August NC. Her daughter 9 yrs old who I got quite close to keeps regular contact via text and Instagram though. Small stuff, but this still somehow takes me back down memory lane every time it happens. I feel I'm set back every time she texts me. I answer her and we have short text conversations about daily stuff. She has said she is afraid I'll cut contact to her like I did to her mom.

She's an adorable little girl, but troubled. She's in therapy due to anxiety, fears etc, probably due to her mom's erratic behavior. Cluster B in the making. I feel that refusing contact would be wrong, and she shouldn't have to suffer more than she already has, because of adult troubles and her mom's behavior.

I know it's not my fight anymore but still I feel responsible.

Any advice?

[simplyasiam]

im sure that is hard to deal with. i was also very close with the kids.

my ex has a 12 year old girl that is on fast track to becoming the next her mother. its sad her mom cant even see it.

ive not had contact with her kids in months brakes my heart but i know if i did would be even harder.

only you can know the right thing to do and how much you can stand/deal with. they say you have to take care of yourself frist but i doing things you can live with are a big part of that.

[KE151]

Hi simply, and thank you.

In my case, her mom has seen her troubles and it's actually she who has gotten D9 into therapy. She is a medical doctor and she has been in therapy for 6-7 years herself, so she probably has identified the issues, also in herself, at least on some level. She just cannot take any responsibility for her actions. Ex completely denies her own role in D9's  troubles and says it's the men in her life who (like me) have come and gone without a trace who are to blame. D9 says ex tells her and S7 that I left because I'm angry at them. Talk about transfer of guilt. And BPD. Horrendous.