Attention getting lies (warning - some TMI)?

[BioAdoptMom3]

I was wondering how often your kids lie for what seems to be, to get attention?  DD has lied about being raped (to the mom of a good friend).  We knew it was a lie because she told her on a Sunday it had happened last night - that she got wasted and things went too far and he raped her.  Well, all 3 of us were home the entire evening.  DD watched TV with us for awhile, hung out in her room playing with her phone, etc. She wouldn't have left the house later on (age 13) because DH and I went to bed at 1 AM and she was asleep when we checked on her.  Then tonight that same mom calls me to tell me that this past week when she was helping her at church DD told her she thought she was pregnant!  First, I had to take DD to the store for tampons on Sunday night, so I am pretty sure that couldn't be the case.  Second, we never let her go anywhere unless we have met a parent and the parent is going to be home the entire time (though I am not so naive that I think its impossible either)! I am wondering if the lies may be connected (I was raped and now I think I'm pregnant)?  I am also thinking in the back of mind that maybe, just maybe this is possible (but praying it's not) and most of all, I am wondering why?  Why would a child tell lies like this?  Is it common in BPD?  She is not trying to get out of trouble.  It's like she is trying to get attention, especially from this woman (who is also a family friend).  Thoughts?

Our objective is to better understand the struggles our child faces and to learn the skills to improve our relationship and provide a supportive environment and also improve on our own emotional responses, attitudes and effectiveness as a family leaders

[MammaMia]

BioAdoptmom

I wonder if your dd is pulling this from mainstream media covering the rape of a 16 year old girl in Steubenville, OH (I think it is OH).  She was raped at a party by 2 football players after she passed out.  Someone videotaped what was going on and posted it on the web. The boys were convicted of rape last week.  It was all over the news.

Could this have played into her story, I wonder?

[lbjnltx]

My d16 told friends at school the same things, raped, abortion and druggy boyfriend.  It was for attention.  If they were talking about her she was important.  If they were saying bad things about her it solified in her mind what she suspected about herself... . that she was bad.

[jellibeans]

My dd15 also has a rape story too... . she told it to me and I cried... . but then she said she wasn't sure it really happened... . it is hard to imagine why she would tell such a story but she is capable to telling many lies.

[vivekananda]

A rape story has to be deeply distressing. It leaves you wondering what to do.

My dd believes the lies she tells. It is her way of explaining why she is the way she is - especially that it is all my fault. Somewhere there has to be a grain of truth in it, so she start somewhere with a real thing and then her creative imagination take over, it was always thus... .

One dramatic story is how I got rid of all her precious toys, just threw them out while she heartbrokenly begged me to stop. The reality is that when she was about 3 mths, there was a photo of her taken with a plastic toy in the foreground. When she was about 10, looking through photos, she asked what happened to the toy. Oh, I collected all your baby toys when we were moving house and gave them to St Vincent de Paul's Opportunity Shop. The particular toy in question was not a favourite of hers. There was no drama. I have a cupboard full of stuffed toys at home that she is not interested in.

What does one do? If it were me, I would ask her what she wanted to do... . maybe therein lies an opportunity for a reality check... . ?

cheers,

Vivek