Complete Insensitivity

[boatman]

So I told my BPDgf (sometimes exBPDgf) that I was feeling inferior because of her push/pull behavior and because of my past. I was bullied in school and sexually abused. I told her I was feeling particularly physically inferior. I have premature grey hair. She told me that she feels the same compared to other girls, but she just deals with it. I told her I think she's the prettiest girl I've ever seen. This is what she said:

Lol ur crazy. Im definatlt not the prettiest

And trust me... . matt damon will always be number 1 in my looks book... . its not all about looks. There is always someone prettier or hotter or sexier or handsomer

This hurt me very deeply. She did apologize. I also told her that I didn't know anyone who didn't want to be seen as the "best" in their SO's eyes, whether it be physically or anything. She told me my thinking was irrational. She also told me that half of good looks is self confidence. I told her it's hard to be confident around her with her raging and push/pull behaviors.

Anyone else experience insensitivity like this, or think I'm off base here?

[DragoN]

BPD "honesty" in action. Not a sense of how the either might feel.

 Sorry for the sting of her thoughtless words.

[boatman]

Hi satis-

Thanks for your reply. I got the sense she was concentrating purely on the logistics of the situation and had no understanding of the underlying emotions, especially mine.

[DragoN]

Just insensitive. Clueless to their impact.

My husband goes on about being "fat"... . he is. I don't mention it. I suggest if he feels that's the case to join me walking or going to the gym. Neither invalidate or validate it.

No, he's not Brad Pitt either.

[boatman]

Do you think they are clueless to their impact? I've often wondered if mine does know the impact on some level and says what she says on purpose as part of the push/pull.