Limiting contact

[optimismandlove]

I have been away on holiday for 6 days now and after the ranting and raging from my uBPD partner of day 1 and 2 via texting and unanswered calls the only contact I havemade is an email wishing him well with his choices.

I have not initiated any other contact and it has been very empowering.

Having these days and nights to my own thoughts without any intrusion has carried me forward to a calm space.

While I have been away he has actually been looking out for my 17yo son and has arranged dinner for him a few times.  This is his well self.

I just received a text from him hoping I could pick up his dog from his place if I was back from my holiday.

I felt a little knot in my stomach just from that request.

I texted back that I am away another two days and asked after him.

No response yet.

I hate the not knowing whats coming next.

The all too familiar slight nausea of uncertainty.

I am alert to any attempt at re idealising me in an effort to win me over to help him out again financially.

I think I am avoiding going home.

I even found myself looking at rental real estate in this little town only 70km from my hometown.

I am toying with the idea of leasing a "weekender" maybe with my parents.

It is so difficult living in a small community where we are so well known having to pretend that we are a happy couple.

Its exhausting living there full time.

I feel liberated here and Im only 45 minutes away.  And I have access to things I really enjoy like the cinema, great coffee shops, plant nurseries, excellent restaurants and a beautiful river and beaches.  I could bring my kayaks over and start kayaking again after a break of 3 years.

I am very fortunate that I could afford a weekender rental.  Does this sound like a good plan?

[Surnia]

It does! 

I am familiar with the knots you are having, avoiding going home, start enjoying the peace in your own space.

Its good to start evaluate your options.