house for sale

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

  Okay, short story, married 6 years to NPD/BPD. I financed the house before marriage. ex husband wanted house, divorce settlement allowed him to move back in and gave him 90 days (end of 2012) to get financing. He was ordered to pay mortagage payments by the 10th of each month. He missed after 2 months and didn't get financing by the end of the year. I petitioned the court to have the house for sale, court gave him 90 more days and told him to make the payments after he made a bunch of excuses. On 3/25/13 court order him out of the house in 2 weeks after still no financing and no house payments.

  I am not taking care of the house again. I can't live in because of his threats to kill me and his anger towards me. I am a few months into my second year of having a POA. The property is 30 miles away in the country to everytime I need to do anything for the house I have to take someone with me. A hassle and a burden because the house payments are huge and utilities are expensive.

  When I got to the house the day the keys were turned over to me, I discovered he had taken the 20+foot antique windmill and pump that feed the pond and the water softener system from the house. He had also smoked in the house so it reaks. I have done what I can to make it smell and look better.

  The court let me pick 3 realtors and then he picked one and set the price, the price is $70,000 more that what I paid for it 7 years ago & I don't think the value has gone up. Of course he has no expenses at the house at this time so he can continue to harrass me by making the house more difficult to sell. The Realtor said the windmill enhanced the property and the new owners will have replace the softener system because the water is really hard. Not to mention both of these items were my property too. The judge ordered that neither of us do anything to lower the value of the property before the sale. So of course I can bring this in front of the judge in court. Problem is all the expenses related to having to go back to court and I know he is doing all of this just to make me pay. He isn't paying his attorney and his attorney is hanging in just so he can put a lein on my ex-h portion of the house sale.

  This is so not fair. He continues to be able to control and harrass. I just want to sell the house, pay off my attorney and move on. I still live in the basement of my friends house because of all the costs to maintain this house in the country and my attorny bills. I can't go anywhere without making sure I am safe, I am tied to this house that isn't going to sell quickly at this price. The good thing is the judge agreed to review the case in 30 days and lower the price if it hasn't sold. Again, I will have to pay my attoney to prepare and be in court.

[coffee shop]

  Okay, short story, married 6 years to NPD/BPD. I financed the house before marriage. ex husband wanted house, divorce settlement allowed him to move back in and gave him 90 days (end of 2012) to get financing. He was ordered to pay mortagage payments by the 10th of each month. He missed after 2 months and didn't get financing by the end of the year. I petitioned the court to have the house for sale, court gave him 90 more days and told him to make the payments after he made a bunch of excuses. On 3/25/13 court order him out of the house in 2 weeks after still no financing and no house payments.

  I am not taking care of the house again. I can't live in because of his threats to kill me and his anger towards me. I am a few months into my second year of having a POA. The property is 30 miles away in the country to everytime I need to do anything for the house I have to take someone with me. A hassle and a burden because the house payments are huge and utilities are expensive.

  When I got to the house the day the keys were turned over to me, I discovered he had taken the 20+foot antique windmill and pump that feed the pond and the water softener system from the house. He had also smoked in the house so it reaks. I have done what I can to make it smell and look better.

  The court let me pick 3 realtors and then he picked one and set the price, the price is $70,000 more that what I paid for it 7 years ago & I don't think the value has gone up. Of course he has no expenses at the house at this time so he can continue to harrass me by making the house more difficult to sell. The Realtor said the windmill enhanced the property and the new owners will have replace the softener system because the water is really hard. Not to mention both of these items were my property too. The judge ordered that neither of us do anything to lower the value of the property before the sale. So of course I can bring this in front of the judge in court. Problem is all the expenses related to having to go back to court and I know he is doing all of this just to make me pay. He isn't paying his attorney and his attorney is hanging in just so he can put a lein on my ex-h portion of the house sale.

  This is so not fair. He continues to be able to control and harrass. I just want to sell the house, pay off my attorney and move on. I still live in the basement of my friends house because of all the costs to maintain this house in the country and my attorny bills. I can't go anywhere without making sure I am safe, I am tied to this house that isn't going to sell quickly at this price. The good thing is the judge agreed to review the case in 30 days and lower the price if it hasn't sold. Again, I will have to pay my attoney to prepare and be in court.

[ForeverDad]

Then in 30 days, since lawyer has to be in court anyway, you have your lawyer also mention the windmill and other property he removed, provide before and after photos, statement from realtor.  Hopefully the judge will not only lower the price but also credit you some his equity - or force the return.

Yes, it's nasty business you'd rather not deal with, but you just can't let it go, not if it's significant.  Remember if you don't get as much as you can, then it just means, one way to look at it, you'd be making money available to pay his lawyer.  And it might make the judge be more then willing to throw the book at him.

[ComoLu]

My uxBPDH whined at the divorce hearing that he didn't want to be solely responsible for the house and buy me out.  I gave lots of examples of how difficult and frustrating it is to work with him - everything from he refuses to talk to me on the phone to he pretends he doesn't receive mail that I send, to his refusal to even give me common information like his account and routing number so I can pay him.  The judge granted his wish, but wrote up 2 pages of guidelines for H behavior.  2 months later, the divorce is final, and I am still fighting with him to get even the simplest thing done.  When I agreed with him about the price for the house, he told me I was wrong and called me stupid.  Now he isn't even answering most of the emails I send.  I don't know how much longer I can take this, but my attorney believes that we will have to take him back to court.  I hope the house sells soon.  I just want to be done, so I really feel your pain.

[coffee shop]

This is such a good site to be able to vent and know others understand all the frustrations. I get so tired of all of this and it doesn't need to work this way. It could have been so very simple. I bet the judge shakes his head and thinks why don't these people get a life! I just wish the judge could understand that I am trying to and I do everything I can to make things simple.

I noticed yesterday that he hasn't changed his mailing address and his bills are coming to the house. I will email his attorney today and tell him about that. One bill is for the propane, have a feeling somehow he is going to pin that one on me. There was very little propane in the tank and I am not sure I won't have to get more before the house sells. I don't need to pay for the propane he used while he was there.

At this point I would not be surprised if he comes up with a sales receipt stating he sold the windmill for $200 and I get half. I know by the time a person buys even a used one and has it installed, it will cost several thousand dollars. Yet I will hope the judge will recoginize how wrong my ex was in selling things off the property. Ugh!

[catnap]

Then in 30 days, since lawyer has to be in court anyway, you have your lawyer also mention the windmill and other property he removed, provide before and after photos, statement from realtor.  Hopefully the judge will not only lower the price but also credit you some his equity - or force the return.

Maybe while waiting for court you could get estimates of what it would cost to replace the "missing" items and installation costs. 

[ForeverDad]

Removing or selling the windmill is not like selling a mattress or a table or even the light fixtures.  That was surely considered a part of the property, just like the house, the garage, the barn, the heating and a/c systems, etc.  Likely you can't get it back so this needs to be documented for the court to be more fully aware of the type of person it's been granting extended time to, to stop mollycoddling him and for you to get financial credit for it's replacement cost or at least how it affected the property's value, not for the purported selling price.

[coffee shop]

My attorney sent his a letter stating the items have to returned by 4/19. If he can't or won't then we will file a motion of contempt. If he doesn't repond with the return of the items then I am to get estimates of the cost to replace and reinstall and this will be added to my share of the sale of the property.

The softener should be easier to find out about but the windmill will be a challege as it was old and we had it fully restored. My exh found all the parts online so I don't have the receipts. Of course to have another person find on and put it back in would be a much higher cost. I also don't trust him to give a true value of what he sold either of the items for. 

I guess I will spend my time and energy on one more issue that should not have taken place, while he sits back and has a laugh about how he is making me spend more money on an attorney, just as he promised he would do. Even his attorney knows the only way he will get paid is by putting a the lien on my exh share of the sale of the house.

We had a verbal offer on the property that was $74,000 less than what my exh and realtor decided to list it for. I would take it but I know there is no way my exh or his attorney would agree because that would not leave enough money to pay the attorney and it would not drag this out long enough for my exh. Ugh!

[livednlearned]

I don't have much advice to offer, just wanted to say I understand. I'm going through the same bs with the refinance of my house. All I want is to be done, to move on, get my name off the title. But N/BPDxh has a million ways to slow this thing down and waste everyone's time, and my money. The emails he is writing to my Ls (both real estate and family law), plus the lending people -- they're so weird and inappropriate and disordered, and no one can do anything.

It's amazing how much effort and enjoyment a person can get from being nasty and difficult.

I feel for you.

[catnap]

On the windmill it would be replacement value not what he spent to restore it.  A quick peek at an antique windmill site has some for sale starting at $3k and up, not including installation.  www.doublelwindmills.com/antique.html 

Even if he produces "sale receipts", he had no right to sell the items.  I would also ask for attorney's fees to be reimbursed for the mess he created. 

[coffee shop]

Thanks for the link Catnip. I wondered about that too.