BPD ways of soothing

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Does a pwBPD have different ways of soothing? I know some turn to alchohol, drugs or other types of distructive behavior, but mine has a very unusual and disturbing way of dealing with this. He does not drink, he did in the past, but he takes pictures of himself. I thought before it was just his immature behavior at work, but now I am noticing that he will stop for weeks at a time and then all of a sudden when he is stressed about something, the picture taking starts reeling in. Could this be his way of soothing? Its very disturbing to me. I know its not umcommon for men to do this, but am I being old fashioned in thinking this is not normal? I'm talking about pictures of his body parts. Could I be in denial about how disturbed this man is?

[benny2]

Does a pwBPD have different ways of soothing? I know some turn to alchohol, drugs or other types of distructive behavior, but mine has a very unusual and disturbing way of dealing with this. He does not drink, he did in the past, but he takes pictures of himself. I thought before it was just his immature behavior at work, but now I am noticing that he will stop for weeks at a time and then all of a sudden when he is stressed about something, the picture taking starts reeling in. Could this be his way of soothing? Its very disturbing to me. I know its not umcommon for men to do this, but am I being old fashioned in thinking this is not normal? I'm talking about pictures of his body parts. Could I be in denial about how disturbed this man is?

[Surnia]

What is bothering you exactly about him taking pictures from himself? Is it the kind of pictures or what he is doing with it?

Teens are doing this, artists ... .   It has something a bit narcissistic.

[benny2]

What bothers me is the fact that he is 50 years old and it seems very immature to me. Also, I do not think he is taking the pictures just for me. He knows I do not particularly care for that. He also trys to get me to send him pictures in return. Its just not my style. Its like an obsession with him. I'm pretty sure if he had a computor he would be frequently visiting the porn sites. Just disturbs me.

[LosingIt2]

benny,

are you two in a relationship? you mentioned in a reply to me that he has been distant again recently. Does he randomly send you these pictures... .   ?

[benny2]

Yes right now we are seeing each other, he has just been keeping things real casual and at times distancing himself. And yes these pictures come randomly. Sometimes he stops for weeks and then all of a sudden he's sending them like crazy. A couple days ago there were at 5 in one day. Its just bazzar.

[Zena321]

When my H and I wre still nder one roof his self soothing seemed to be to sleep of course if I were stressed there were times I could be sleepless for like 48 hours or more . He also would blast music death metal mostly when stressed at a volume that would literally shake my insides I am sure neighbors from down the street could hear it never mind next door and he would fall asleep peacefully to it as if it were on a low volume and meditation music.

Of course there were also times of drinking to black out status not often a few times a year , reckless driving if something happened while out but the above was a strange self sooth .

I attribute it to maybe inside him he needed to drown out thoughts,anger,emotions whatever so as not to think ? I also had no clue about PD's until years after he left.

[Surnia]

benny2

What about boundaries? When you feel molested by it why not state that you don't wont those pictures any more and that you would not do the same, sending him pics of yours... .   ?

[benny2]

I have told him that many times, but he still keeps doing it. Sometimes I think he is doing it just to start something. He use to do things like that when I was living with him. He would plant things around the house to make me think he had someone there and when I would not react he admitted that he just did it to see what I would say. He also use to leave his truck parked in the driveway and cut through the woods to his ex's house, then he would say, ask my daughter, my truck was parked here all night, but little did he know, I found the path he made leading right to her door. He's very manipulating, but I somehow caught sight of it all and stayed one step ahead of him.