Interesting T session

[marbleloser]

This past week stbx and I got to sit in on one of the kiddos T sessions.We played a game(play therapy) and if we scored a point,we got to read out loud what kiddo had written down.What an eye opener that was!

Each card was "I'm mad because",or "I'm sad because",or "I'm scared because". Two said "I like it when".

The difficult part was not being able to say anything after I read it.Not being able to validate him or try to fix it.It was simply him,voicing his feelings,although on paper.

The T asked us if we found it difficult to not say anything or not be able to fix it.STBX said "No problem here".I told her "Yes.It was difficult not being able to ask why he felt this way and talk to him about it."

I wanted to validate his feelings and help ease his mind a bit.(The fixer in me,but who doesn't want that for their kids?)

On the way home,he asked,"Are you mad at me for what I wrote?"

I told him," No way! Those are your feelings. Nobody should ever get mad at you for how you feel or expressing your feelings."

When I said that,it hit me.All these years,I've been one to keep my feelings in to keep stbx from invalidating them or raging.He's learning at an early age what it took me 42 years to do.

His T seems to be really good.She's giving him a foundation to build upon that will help him the rest of his life.He's learning that expressing himself isn't a bad thing and that his emotions aren't "wrong".

[DreamGirl]

I love this concept!

I think you found a winner in your therapist. 

[marbleloser]

Thank you! It was pure luck,but she's pretty awesome.