"I'm not mad" or "I didn't yell" or "I don't remember that"

[VeryFree]

Has anyone encountered the behaviour of after ranting at you they go into another room or stomp upstairs continuing their ranting? Usually really awful things that you CAN actually hear... .  

Yes, mine did. She also would -during a period of silence treatment- talk to our dogs about how bad I was. Of course in hearing distance of me.

[starkwell]

I grew up in a loving household with 2 wonderful parents who instilled a belief in me that I was important.

I find the worst part of the selective memory is that when these horrible things happen and the other person claims they don't remember it... . it chips away at that belief that the things you think, feel and say are important. That your experiences... . your life... . actually matter.

I can't think of anything worse to do to a person. So what do you do? What do I do?

I guess I try to keep connected with those people who make me feel like I matter. It's hard b/c all this insanity just makes you want to curl into a ball in a dark room and die.

[VeryFree]

I grew up in a loving household with 2 wonderful parents who instilled a belief in me that I was important.

I find the worst part of the selective memory is that when these horrible things happen and the other person claims they don't remember it... . it chips away at that belief that the things you think, feel and say are important. That your experiences... . your life... . actually matter.

I can't think of anything worse to do to a person. So what do you do? What do I do?

I guess I try to keep connected with those people who make me feel like I matter. It's hard b/c all this insanity just makes you want to curl into a ball in a dark room and die.

Hi Starkwell

Just remember: you DO matter!

BPD is an illness. Not your illness. Not worth to curl up and die about!

Learn about this illness. Learn about what it has done to you. Learn about why you were there.

These boards are a very good place to start!

[empathic]

I grew up in a loving household with 2 wonderful parents who instilled a belief in me that I was important.

Same here, I think part of why my wife has problems meeting with my parents is that she is not the 100% center of attention (although she gets > 50% of the attention even there). She also problems with my parents complementing me on things I've done. She is very quick to bring up things I've done wrong in that environment, albeit in a jokingly way.

Me and my wife come from completely different household dynamics, in her family (her own words) they were often shouting at eachother and being angry, to have it forgotten minutes later. Could have contributed to her currently never thinking back of things she's done (she's not thinking of the past a lot at all, it seems).