Stopping The Obsession With Them

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

I am very tired and won't write much yet, but I wanted to start this thread. I will chime in once I am awake tomorrow. I'm doing my best to focus on myself and less on my partner. I'm realizing that although I have made progress I still rely on her for my sense of well being and security.    I mean, seriously, this is a woman who is starving herself to the point where she passed out several times the other night!  This is a woman who two weeks ago told me she thought she wanted to be with a man (we are a same sex couple). The point being, she's not stable and I can't depend on her for ANYTHING much less to take care of me emotionally, which to be honest, she hasn't done well for a year or so now. And it's not her job to take care of me, though I would argue it is a partner's job to be caring, kind and considerate... . which she hasn't done recently either.

[cult]

I am very tired and won't write much yet, but I wanted to start this thread. I will chime in once I am awake tomorrow. I'm doing my best to focus on myself and less on my partner. I'm realizing that although I have made progress I still rely on her for my sense of well being and security.    I mean, seriously, this is a woman who is starving herself to the point where she passed out several times the other night!  This is a woman who two weeks ago told me she thought she wanted to be with a man (we are a same sex couple). The point being, she's not stable and I can't depend on her for ANYTHING much less to take care of me emotionally, which to be honest, she hasn't done well for a year or so now. And it's not her job to take care of me, though I would argue it is a partner's job to be caring, kind and considerate... . which she hasn't done recently either.

[Phoenix.Rising]

And it's not her job to take care of me, though I would argue it is a partner's job to be caring, kind and considerate... . which she hasn't done recently either.

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time.  It is very painful trying to cope with someone we love so much while feeling they are not reciprocating that love. 

How can You take care of You?