Push-Pull cycle... can this include a child?

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

Hello,  I am currently having to endure the 'silent treatment' from my dBPD S.O.  ( for no apparent reason)  in this case for the whole of this month, and as far as I am aware , totally unprovoked. We don't live together but normally are in daily contact .

Throughout May things were ok , we went out together several times and communication was fine, prior to May she had avoided all contact for 3 months!  Then on the last day of April, she met me for a coffee , and seemed tense and unhappy , she was frightened of the mirrors in the cafe and wanted to leave. She was not unpleasant towards me though, so we went to a movie.

She has a 4 year old son , who likes me and who I now have grown attached to over the years, she said she wanted me to spend more time with him and they came to stay and we all had a good time , like a family, no stress and everything seemed fine.  However from the beginning of this month she has again pulled away, this is very painful to deal with as I have no idea what is going on, she will not tell me anything, I get no answers to any questions and I don't want to pressure her either.  Could this current avoidance and silence be related to the push pull cycle in any way?  Sometimes I have seen her appear to get resentful of her son's affection towards me, he asked if I would take him fishing , she has never actually let me , yet tells me she'd like me to spend more time with him. 

I just wish she'd give me some indication as to why she won't communicate , we have had no disagreements or arguments for most of this year ,  but she seems unhappy and distant when I have seen her, but not aimed at me.

It's all so depressingly hard to deal with. I have just given her the space she needs and have not pressured her, but she is not reaching out like she used to . I know she has some other things going on for her at the moment, such as her dangerous 'ex' . (she won't talk about him either)

I'm just wondering if she felt a bit 'overwhelmed ' after the good times we had in May , and is now pushing me away again?

[tryingtohelp]

Hello,  I am currently having to endure the 'silent treatment' from my dBPD S.O.  ( for no apparent reason)  in this case for the whole of this month, and as far as I am aware , totally unprovoked. We don't live together but normally are in daily contact .

Throughout May things were ok , we went out together several times and communication was fine, prior to May she had avoided all contact for 3 months!  Then on the last day of April, she met me for a coffee , and seemed tense and unhappy , she was frightened of the mirrors in the cafe and wanted to leave. She was not unpleasant towards me though, so we went to a movie.

She has a 4 year old son , who likes me and who I now have grown attached to over the years, she said she wanted me to spend more time with him and they came to stay and we all had a good time , like a family, no stress and everything seemed fine.  However from the beginning of this month she has again pulled away, this is very painful to deal with as I have no idea what is going on, she will not tell me anything, I get no answers to any questions and I don't want to pressure her either.  Could this current avoidance and silence be related to the push pull cycle in any way?  Sometimes I have seen her appear to get resentful of her son's affection towards me, he asked if I would take him fishing , she has never actually let me , yet tells me she'd like me to spend more time with him. 

I just wish she'd give me some indication as to why she won't communicate , we have had no disagreements or arguments for most of this year ,  but she seems unhappy and distant when I have seen her, but not aimed at me.

It's all so depressingly hard to deal with. I have just given her the space she needs and have not pressured her, but she is not reaching out like she used to . I know she has some other things going on for her at the moment, such as her dangerous 'ex' . (she won't talk about him either)

I'm just wondering if she felt a bit 'overwhelmed ' after the good times we had in May , and is now pushing me away again?

[GreenMango]

Sounds like the push pull with you and jealousy, abandonment fears with regards to her child liking you or becoming attached to you.

Hey its not easy.  Looks like both you and the child are riding her emotional rollercoaster.  That's a very difficult place to be. 

Have you posted much on staying regarding how to communicate and some of the other tools geared towards managing a relationship with someone with BPD?