Just initiated NC, need advice

[VIDEO: "What is parental alienation?"]

So I just told my wife I want a divorce and that any further contact should be through email only.  I'm in a unique position where I am currently overseas so keeping away is easy, unfortunately I also have 3 children, and I want to be able to talk to them.  Does anyone have any advice on whether or not I should give in to the skype demands to have some time with my children?

[acidicarcadian]

So I just told my wife I want a divorce and that any further contact should be through email only.  I'm in a unique position where I am currently overseas so keeping away is easy, unfortunately I also have 3 children, and I want to be able to talk to them.  Does anyone have any advice on whether or not I should give in to the skype demands to have some time with my children?

[goodguy]

for clarification, she's demanding that you Skype with her, and in return she'll allow you to Skype with the kids?

Edited to add: how old are the kids?

[acidicarcadian]

No, she says she will leave the room, I am just unsure if she actually will or not.

[acidicarcadian]

oh, and 3, 2, and 1

[goodguy]

Hmm. I'll defer to those with more similar experiences, but there's no other way that you could have contact with the kids, right? So that's the only way?

[Clearmind]

No, she says she will leave the room, I am just unsure if she actually will or not.

This is a reasonable reply from your ex.

Low contact or controlled contact is needed when kids are involved acid - no contact is almost near impossible.

[acidicarcadian]

Well just got done with first skype session to talk to the kids.  It started out well, but then she hijacked the computer and started trying to get me to compromise and wait to decide, just like I thought she would.  She kept jumping between saying she wanted to reconcile and then saying she didn't.  She also said that she was considering flying over here with the kids and just leaving them with me.  Which would be great because I would have my children, but unfortunately I wouldn't be able to stay in the army with them as a single father, so that would could the source of income.  I did manage to get that on FRAPS though.

[Validation78]

Hi Acid!

Because of your children, you will have to maintain some contact with her, always! I would develop the discipline to keep the conversations strictly about your children and business. If you're sure that you don't want to stay married, there isn't much sense in talking about anything else. We all know where that leads.

I would also suggest that you develop good communication skills, the kind we learn about here on the site, to manage better while dealing with pwBPD. You can find The Lessons on the staying board to the right of the screen. There are many tools that you will find helpful!

Best Wishes,

Val78

[acidicarcadian]

Thanks Val