Do they really believe their fake reality?

[How to communicate after a contentious divorce...]

Here's something I'm having trouble relating to. My uBPDgf says she will create storylines in her head about me to help her cope. It's usually after a fight and separation. She gets cold and distant and I can tell that she's not feeling the same about me. I've questioned her about this by saying how does this make u feel better if u know its not true. She responds with a confusing well what do u expect me to do? It's like me imagining her as a murderer and believing it just to stay mad. I think she also retains these realities and switches to them whenever she needs to get mad. Does she really believe this stuff?

[nyfit1]

Here's something I'm having trouble relating to. My uBPDgf says she will create storylines in her head about me to help her cope. It's usually after a fight and separation. She gets cold and distant and I can tell that she's not feeling the same about me. I've questioned her about this by saying how does this make u feel better if u know its not true. She responds with a confusing well what do u expect me to do? It's like me imagining her as a murderer and believing it just to stay mad. I think she also retains these realities and switches to them whenever she needs to get mad. Does she really believe this stuff?

[simplyasiam]

i think they trick themself into thinking this kinda stuff is real they do so atleast my exBPDg/f did. she did this by telling lies to conuslers/family/friends about how her life was with me and wath she wanted. after telling them the lies  they tell her what she wants to her and she feels like thats what best for her. i know it sounds crazy but i know thats how she did it. she would always tell me what friends and conuslers were telling her to do, i would be like why in the hell would they tell her that. then after the break up i would find out what she had been telling them. i really think she thinks its real.

[bruceli]

Due to illogical beliefs and delusional thinking... . They have to create these story lines as to jive with there felings and thoughts.  Example... . Friday night... . DW goes into a tizzy because she can not find her bottle of Rum. Now mind u this after her 10th beer she was going to finish the 1/8 of a bottle of rum off.  :)id she come to conclusion that earlier in the evening she may have moved it in preperation for that night or that her friend who also drinks may have moved it?  NO... . to her the logical explanation is that I hid it from her because I did'nt want her to drink anymore.  Perhaps a logical thought but why would she think that... . If not for the fact that she already knows that she drank too much and should'nt go for the rum.  Also sitting right next to the rum was a opened full bottle of tequilla which she also enjoys so when asked why would I have not taken/hid the fuller bottle of taquilla... . I get the infamous... . " i don't know reply".

[danley]

Similar situations as bruceli... .

My ex planned a nite out with me weeks prior. His friends from out of town show up and they wanna go out on the same nite. I tell him to go with his friends. He then accuses me of manipulation and that I'm trying to make him feel guilty. PROJECTION much?

I had to get a biopsy done for a cyst. My ex first response wasn't to ask if I was OK but rather to let him know if I had given him any STDs... . and yes, I said biopsy which in any normal person would think of cancer related issues. Then he turns the conversation into something about himself and all the stress he has. As tho he's the only one who could have a problem to be focused on. Heaven forbid he have compassion for me in my time of need.

Post breakup... . When I'd make food for potlucks at work he'd ask me if I had poisoned his serving. He said it was a joke because he knew I was mad at him for breaking up the relationship. But REALLY? His guilt was talking again.

When someone at work was causing him grief, he accused me of being in cahoots with the offender. Where he came up with it was beyond me. But his lack of trust and blaming me was hurtful. I had to convince and assure him of my loyalty.  But why would he even think that about me. I gave no reason for him not to trust me.

Once we were texting and he got pissed and said I was trying to ruin his quality time with his kids. I wasn't even aware he was with them and WHY would I try to purposely ruin his time? Hegot an extra day with them that he didn't make me aware of. And why not just tell me from the start of the texting instead of freaking out and making it out to be that I was trying to hurt him on purpose?

I don't know where the crazy thoughts come from or when. But I always felt like he was firm in his beliefs and accusations. Somehow he would come up with these far fetched theories and he'd truly believe them. Even if it didn't make sense. Even if it was a bash to me. Even tho he claimed to love and trust me.

[nyfit1]

It's just amazing how similar everyone's stories are. Just confirms that there are real issues at play here. I used to think she was just immature and selfish. She loved to portray herself as LOving and giving and would do anything for me but when I stop to think about it, she never really did anything for me that didn't satisfy a need in her. I def went overboard with trying to please her and I think she would try to mirror the behavior back. She always tried to one up me in the pain and suffering department. If I said I was feeling bad about something she would cut me off with well how do u think I feel and then bring up a classic moment from her past. I told her that she can't relate to my issues and she would disagree and then give me another classic. It just really is amazing how self centered she is. Like I said I thought she was just an immature 47 year old woman but I guess there's more at play.