Chameleons or parrots ?

[Reg]

Hi,

A curious subject perhaps, but something that is in my mind since several months now.

We often say that borderlines are chameleons, as they are mirroring so heavily to other persons because they lack an real own identity.

A number of things that happened in my own experiences, have made me conclude that they can be chameleons in one way, but I see them more as parrots.

I very often noticed that my ex was saying in moments what I was saying, and in other moments completely the opposite, words coming from other persons, and I knew very well who they were.

In a way they act as other persons, but if you go deeper, you see that they just talk like parrots, imitating humans, who actually know what they are saying, while the parrot is just imitating others... .

I do not mean this in a disrespectful way or anything, it's just a thought I wanted to share... .

Reg

[Dawning]

Right on Reg, and that is why they contradict themselves so often.

[Clearmind]

The partner of a Borderline also mirrors! Which is the reason why you both idealized each other – you mirrored each others idealized self.

Borderlines do lack a sense of self – my ex would change his persona to fit the situation. Many folks who lack worth/sense of self do the same.

[Bananas]

Parrots, interesting.  I didn't notice it a first but my ex seem to have a list of phrases, exact words he would use in different situations to explain how he was feeling.  Good/bad/indifferent/angry/anxious, whatever.  It was like a talking doll that says the same thing depending on what button you pushed.  Like he was programmed or something. 

[Blade99d]

Whenever I would get a text that said work is a PITA today, we would always have a blowout fight that same night... . I look back now at just how stupid I was because the sex was incredible... . I didn't want to give that up. 

[Blessed0329]

My ex seemed to have scripts for various situations. At times it was like he was playing reruns, telling stories exactly the same way to different people. I once made the mistake of asking him about his city and state of birth. He launched into a Travel Channel recitation, telling me all about the population, climate and topography in detail. And he didn't seem able to stop himself.