Are they known for filing false restraining orders?

[Before you can make things better, you have to stop making them worse...]

There is an alcoholic borderline female (35) in my complex who is very obsessed with me.  She lives with her ex-military boyfriend (55) four doors down.  I never had any intimate involvement with her.  She has however openly complained that her boyfriend is sterile and impotent (he basically pays all her bills).

After months and months of telling her "No", she began acting out.  She would corner any females I would bring to the property and give them an "evaluation", then openly chide me for dating 'ugly' women.

The acting out got worse and on two occasions (both drunken) she behaved in ways that could have landed her in jail; battery for poking my chest repeatedly, and assault for getting out of her car and approaching mine to create a scene (with my girlfriend in the car).

I finally had had enough.  I went to the police, filed a report, waived pressing charges, and they paid her and her boyfriend a visit . . . basically giving them a verbal no contact order.

Question:  Could she try to "one up" me by marching down to the courthouse and filing a false restraining order against me?  Are BPD's known for filing false restraining orders?

I see her wanting to do something at least.  The police supposedly went around and spoke with neighbors to get the skinny and apparently she told everyone that we had dated . . . absolute rubbish.

[BPDizzy]

There is an alcoholic borderline female (35) in my complex who is very obsessed with me.  She lives with her ex-military boyfriend (55) four doors down.  I never had any intimate involvement with her.  She has however openly complained that her boyfriend is sterile and impotent (he basically pays all her bills).

After months and months of telling her "No", she began acting out.  She would corner any females I would bring to the property and give them an "evaluation", then openly chide me for dating 'ugly' women.

The acting out got worse and on two occasions (both drunken) she behaved in ways that could have landed her in jail; battery for poking my chest repeatedly, and assault for getting out of her car and approaching mine to create a scene (with my girlfriend in the car).

I finally had had enough.  I went to the police, filed a report, waived pressing charges, and they paid her and her boyfriend a visit . . . basically giving them a verbal no contact order.

Question:  Could she try to "one up" me by marching down to the courthouse and filing a false restraining order against me?  Are BPD's known for filing false restraining orders?

I see her wanting to do something at least.  The police supposedly went around and spoke with neighbors to get the skinny and apparently she told everyone that we had dated . . . absolute rubbish.

[momtara]

OH yes they are.

You can see the stories all over this board.

The fact that you acted first will help you, though.  It may just look like she's retaliating.

You may want to carry a mini tape recorder when you might cross her path.

THe boyfriend could be scary.  Be careful!

[Matt]

Have you talked with the boyfriend at all?  He might be an ally... . ?

Momtara is right about audio-recording - it's legal in some states if one party (you) know that the conversation is being recorded.  You can find out online what your state allows.  Even if it's technically not legal, it might still be a good idea, just in case.

Mainly stay far from her - no interaction with her, without a non-family adult third party present - and if she won't stay away from you too, get a restraining order (or "order or protection".  You don't have to accuse her of anything she didn't do, just tell the judge what has happened and that you are very concerned.  Sooner would be better than later.

Many of us here have been falsely accused of stuff, and if you are accused, you will be presumed guilty til proven innocent, and it's hard to prove you are innocent.  Men go to jail in situations like this - false accusations that can't be disproved.  Be very careful!

[ForeverDad]

I tape recorded since I felt it was a form of insurance I needed to prove I wasn't the aggressor or the one behaving poorly.  Even if I lived in a restrictive (two party consent) state I still would have recorded since I felt in great fear of a knock on my door and being carted off to jail based on retaliatory allegations.

However, I did keep it very low key, I didn't want to trigger incidents or overreactions, it only became known when I needed it.

[Matt]

I tape recorded since I felt it was a form of insurance I needed to prove I wasn't the aggressor or the one behaving poorly.  Even if I lived in a restrictive (two party consent) state I still would have recorded since I felt in great fear of a knock on my door and being carted off to jail based on retaliatory allegations.

However, I did keep it very low key, I didn't want to trigger incidents or overreactions, it only became known when I needed it.

My lawyer told me that it largely depends on what's on the tape;  that is, if you reveal that you have been recording, but there's nothing too bad on the tape, you'll look like you're over-reacting, but if you are able to show some very extreme behavior, the judge is likely to overlook a technical violation of the law (illegal recording) to admit evidence showing a more serious crime (violence or a threat).

So... . like FD, you could find out what the law is, and then discreetly record, but not do anything with the files until you have a smoking gun.

[BPDizzy]

I went to the police on Friday . . . i wanted to at least record something since her behavior (drunken too) got so out of hand.  I happened to be home when the police arrived to visit her and was able to see them approach her door through my blinds.  She was outside, saw them and quickly darted towards them to keep them from knocking on her door and including her boyfriend in the discussion, he was inside.  I requested that they both be spoken to and she appeared fairly upset since they wouldn't speak to her alone.  She excused herself, disappeared inside for a few minutes then let them in.  They were inside for about 15 minutes, then left.  She and her bf then left, the boyfriend walking some paces ahead of her.

I have gotten adept at quickly pulling up my video camera on my phone and even recorded my exit and departure from my apt that day (it's a sad way to have to live).  I drove 4 hours to my mom's and have been here since.  My lease is up next wednesday and I have been making plans to move 2 hours away.  I have been very fearful to return and feel sick to my stomach thinking that i will have to live my remaining days there in fear (i have enjoyed living there in peace for the last 6 years).

My fear is that she will attempt a temp restraining order (to save face with her boyfriend and/or to "one-up" me) and then try to create some sort of drama to obtain evidence once i return.  I dread the possible visit from a sheriff to serve me.  I even read that since i live close to her, they may even enter my premise to search for firearms (i don't have any) and usually the resident in this case reacts in such a way that he/she is arrested for disorderly conduct, obstruction, etc., only to make matters worse.  Basically you are guilty till proven innocent, and during this visit you essentially have no constitutional rights.

To say that she has a fixation on me could be an understatement.  I think that she is unhappy on the inside and is more than likely looking for a fertile provider to give her a baby and pull her out of her current state.  Lately I have been dating a truly wonderful and healing girl, and the smile on my face is real.  In the meantime, she will do what she has to to stay with her current guy (to maintain her livelihood, alcohol included).  She does have a reputation for sleeping around and approaching any new male that appears on the property.

I did a search on her and learned that she was arrested in '11 for battery and had a restraining order placed on her by a male (not her current bf).  Her bf was arrested in the 80's for aggravated battery and obstructing a police officer.  As for myself I'm an accountant with no record, but I do have a wonderful history of attracting drama and crazies (i am working on this) and feel grateful to be finally learning some valuable lessons, including working on myself.

Thank you all for your responses and any additional advice or support you might offer.  Thank you!