New here

[Titina]

Hello out there...

I have finally decided to join a group. My mother I am certain has BPD . She has never been diagnosed or treated for it . After 40 years and much research on her behaviors and attempting to have a semi normal relationship with her, I feel the need to hear from others in my shoes.

I am an only child and for the better part of my life, the very same woman that brought it me into this world has made me feel inadequate, guilty, wrong, alienated, to the point that .

Throughout my adult life I have been thru therapy and in no un certain terms have been told to divorce "my mother"...

She pretty much seems to have a "script" of how and what love is... everything else is not even acknowledge... . very sad. Hence my love is never good enough... it never was and never will.

Thanks for listening...

[babyducks]

Hi Titina



Let me welcome you here to bpdfamily.com, and wish for you as much help and support as I have received. It's clear you have a lot in common with many of us here, and this is a community where we help each other, so I'm sure if you keep posting and reading you will find it helpful.

If you don't mind me asking:

- How much contact do you have now?

- What behaviors are causing you the most problems?

- What aspects of her behavior do you find most difficult to deal with?

I believe you will be greatly comforted by the support here and the fact that we really understand what you are going through. We've all been there to varying degrees. Take care of yourself. We will look out for future posts from you.

And when you feel ready, go ahead and explore

[L5]  Coping and Healing from a BPD Parent, Sibling, or Inlaw Board

babyducks

[Sitara]

Welcome Titina!  My mother is also uBPD, and it was definitely difficult growing up with that influence.  I understand about your love never being enough - no matter what anyone did or said, it was like she was going out of her way to be insulted.  She is definitely the master of the lose-lose situation.  For example, she would constantly complain that I didn't ask about how she was doing enough.  But then, when she was acting odd and I asked if she was okay, I was yelled at because, "I'm just having a really good day! Can't you allow your mother to be happy?" and she stormed out of the house.  It's impossible to please people like that, and I've just recently come to the conclusion that, if I'm going to get yelled at no matter what I do, why bother putting any effort into it?  The outcome is the same no matter what I do.  It's sad though, because I struggle with the question of how to you get over the pain that you'll never have (and never did have) the loving family you want so badly?  It's not easy.  And we understand.  If there's anything you're looking for specific help with, I'd suggest starting up a post.  I'm sure someone here has gone through the same thing before.