Terrible news

[Levi78]

My uBPD mother announced today that she is engaged to her boyfriend of 20 years. This will be her 4th marriage. Every guy she finds is a bigger loser than the last. Old age and limited options has kept this last boyfriend around for a long time. He's a disbarred lawyer who's been unemployed for decades -- a con artist who has basically been using her as a housekeeper and meal ticket. Her health has been failing lately, so I suspect he wants to lock in the house my grandparents bought her, just in case she dies first.

I'm having a major anxiety attack. The last time she married, it ended in an annulment and staged suicide attempt. She is mid 60s now, morbidly obese and a serious heart attack risk. However, she's about 15 years old emotionally -- she will probably want to have a gaudy ceremony, big white dress, THE WORKS. And as her only child who is not completely estranged, I will be forced to participate in this ridiculous farce.

I feel utterly sick. My husband says I'm being fearful for nothing -- if it makes her delusionally happy, just let her be happy. But he didn't grow up with her. All I see is catastrophe and a mountain of drama on the horizon. I don't want any part of it and yet I will have to be party to all of it. 

[Clearmind]

Levi78,  Mom needs to find her way - you cannot rescue her or fix her. Her hubby needs to fend for himself. Its not your battle to win.

What is happening right now for you - are you concerned you may get embroiled in the drama? There are ways to step back from it... .