Setting boundaries

[Family Court Strategies: When Your Partner Has BPD OR NPD Traits.]

Dear All,

I'm still wavering despite my best efforts.  I know a relationship with the ex would be a hell of a time.

Here's my question.

My boundary is infidelity.

Prior to our separation, she assured me she didnt want any other men and wouldn't be with other men.

I have a feeling and some evidence suggesting, but not directly confirming she has been.

I have since discovering this, cut off all contact means with her, but she doesn't yet know it.

How do I go about approaching this situation, so I could potentially have her back without reinforcing the idea that cheating is ok?

One way would be just saying, did you cheat, badger her until she fesses up and then walk for good.

Another would be to just walk for good now, and never have to deal with the pain of finding out from her.

Is there any winning in this situation?

[PhoenixRising15]

Dear All,

I'm still wavering despite my best efforts.  I know a relationship with the ex would be a hell of a time.

Here's my question.

My boundary is infidelity.

Prior to our separation, she assured me she didnt want any other men and wouldn't be with other men.

I have a feeling and some evidence suggesting, but not directly confirming she has been.

I have since discovering this, cut off all contact means with her, but she doesn't yet know it.

How do I go about approaching this situation, so I could potentially have her back without reinforcing the idea that cheating is ok?

One way would be just saying, did you cheat, badger her until she fesses up and then walk for good.

Another would be to just walk for good now, and never have to deal with the pain of finding out from her.

Is there any winning in this situation?

[Surnia]

Hi QF

Boundaries with infidelity can be a slippery walk.

Healthy boundaries are something you can do for you like using a preservative having sex. ( I apologize for being straight. ) You just do it.

Try to find infidelity out or badger her is not a healthy way in my eyes. It leads to controlling behavior.

What I hear in your post: You don't trust your gf right now. In my eyes it is difficult to have a rs without trust. And being in push/pull of BPD rs can easily lead to trust issues.